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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26459827">I'll Look At You, Just Like How I Have All This Time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toot__Toot/pseuds/Toot__Toot'>Toot__Toot</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xx_Yvonne_xX/pseuds/Xx_Yvonne_xX'>Xx_Yvonne_xX</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DAKAICHI (Anime), 抱かれたい男1位に脅されています。 | Dakaretai Otoko Ichii ni Odosarete Imasu (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Coping, Crying, Hospitalization, Kidnapping, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Resurrection, Unhealthy Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:40:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26459827</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toot__Toot/pseuds/Toot__Toot, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xx_Yvonne_xX/pseuds/Xx_Yvonne_xX</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Azumaya Junta hasn't been quite right following the events of what happened on that day.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azumaya Junta/Saijou Takato</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>79</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I like him. That's why I'm with him.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by this picture drawn by Sakurabi-sensei.</p><p>https://i.pinimg.com/originals/13/59/57/1359579c38d655ba5a68eee6ef162e8d.png</p><p>https://mobile.twitter.com/sakurabihashigo/status/1018750546633580544</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You really haven't changed." Currently leaning on the bar with his arms splayed out to support his lazed form, Ayagi coos as he raises his wine glass to take a sip. His head is lolled to one side and he gave off the impression that he was probably close to being drunk. "Since the day I knew you, you're still so cold towards me." </p>
<p>"What did you call me out for?" Junta mutters flatly, having not touched the drink Ayagi had gotten for him at all. His posture is tense on the seat with the crowd behind them dancing to the blasting, loud music. Every now and then someone would stumble towards them and hit on either of the two men, which pissed off Junta greatly. He just didn't seem comfortable in this situation and looked like he wanted to get out of here.</p>
<p>"Nothing~" Ayagi waves the cup in his hand, the ice swirling in his glass. "Just wanted to catch up."</p>
<p>Junta remains silent. <em>How boring, and he was here trying to actually be nice.</em></p>
<p>"It's been two years, huh..." Ayagi trails off, watching his reactions carefully, allowing his tone to remain painfully even as he threaded on what seemed like a sensitive topic. "You... have <em>you</em> been okay?"</p>
<p>"..."</p>
<p>"You quit the acting industry just like that and seemingly disappeared off the radar. It was like almost nobody could convince you to go back. Or worse, some of the actors didn't even know where you've gone."</p>
<p>Silence again, huh.</p>
<p>Well, Ayagi couldn't blame him.</p>
<p>There was still something like a gap inside of him, badly stitched up to stop the hurting. But any wrong move and he thinks he's going to delve back into how he was two years ago. And since the other guy was closer to him, he supposed the amount of hurting he's done would probably be on a bigger magnitude than his own.</p>
<p>... He still remembered the day that incident had happened. When they had received the news and he had ran there with all his might, praying that please, <em>please let him be okay</em>. </p>
<p>It seemed like the longest run in his life as he raced alongside Junta to the room the nurses had informed them about, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists. </p>
<p>Then he <em>saw</em> it.</p>
<p>The hand dangling out of the corner of the hospital bed.</p>
<p>The mangled limbs of the other.</p>
<p>The blood.</p>
<p>And the doctors who lifted the sheet, fluttering it as they pulled it over his beautiful face. </p>
<p>Everything seemed to melt away at that instant. Ayagi could hear nothing but the static buzzing in his head as he stared at the mess, unmoving for a long time. His eyes were fixed on the body -- on what he had originally called senpai -- as they brought him away just like that. </p>
<p>He couldn't even bring himself to be angry at the staff who apologetically stated their loss. Ayagi just felt lost and almost afraid -- what about the 100 friends he was going to make? What about eating on Mount Fuji? Wasn't the actor going to come watch him as he would finally not be a loner? </p>
<p>
  <em>But why is he gone so suddenly?</em>
</p>
<p>He had grew colder, reserved. There were people trying to comfort him but he pushed them all away.</p>
<p>But it was all okay now. </p>
<p>It was all <em>okay</em> now. </p>
<p>Amidst the mess, he vaguely remembered what happened to Junta. He had leaned against a wall and crumpled like a lifeless puppet to his knees immediately, staring at the body with a horrified look. On that day, he, too, was affected, much more than he probably would have ever been. Ayagi recalled seeing news about him stopping all his offers, when the news went up.</p>
<p>That Saijou Takato had been involved in a car accident and had passed away due to the gruesome incident.</p>
<p>"I get it, you're upset, but you can't let that get you down, you know?" Ayagi's voice had gotten very soft. "After Saijou-san's death--"</p>
<p>"Takato-san is not dead." Junta mutters.</p>
<p>"What?" Was he still delusional? </p>
<p>"Takato-san is <em>NOT</em> dead!" Junta slammed his fist on the table, grabbing Ayagi by the collar. "Say that again and you'll be <em>sorry</em>." Though it didn't attract much attention due to the noise in the bar, Ayagi could see it in his eyes. </p>
<p>The murderous aura that resembled the time when Junta had recognised him as the voice from the phone. Except that this time, it was full of hurt and not anger. </p>
<p>Ayagi raised his hands up in surrender, and after a while, Junta released him.</p>
<p>"I just know it. He will come back to me someday. He <em>will</em>." His voice was full of determination.</p>
<p>Ayagi looks away. <em>You're not the only one hurting, you know? </em>A tiny, bitter voice wants to utter, but he knows of how much <em>they</em> had gone through, much more than he would probably ever imagine. So he shut up and shrugged, pretending he was alright. "Suit yourself, I guess." His voice was lower now. </p>
<p>"You don't believe me, do you?" Junta allows a warped smile to creep up his face, accompanied with his wild, almost crazed golden eyes. Ayagi found himself absolutely entranced as the other stood. There was something off about Junta, but he couldn't tell what.</p>
<p>"Come with me.<em> I'll show you</em>."</p><hr/>
<p>The longer Ayagi had followed Junta, the more uneasy he got. He had been sure they had been walking on for almost <em>forever</em> now - and it was getting darker and darker, where he felt like he could suffocate any given moment. </p>
<p>But backing out didn't seem like an option with how Junta has never turned his back to check on him once. If he had lost sight of him, Ayagi might just get lost in here by himself and have nobody discover him.</p>
<p>The sound of Junta pulling open a thick metal door surprised him. Ayagi cringed when Junta slid the door open and it made a wary, low screech sound which echoed into the huge open area beyond it. The other actor, however, seemed to glow as he led the way into the darkened space which resembled a facility. </p>
<p>"What did you want me to see?" Ayagi could only see the ladyrinth of complex machinery in the dark, with all the tubes and pipes layering the room and hanging all around the place. Junta had disappeared off to somewhere he couldn't see, and after a brief moment of him hearing only footsteps, the lights were abruptly switched on, buzzing into life.</p>
<p>Ayagi shielded his eyes slightly, wincing. He stared around the place once more, at the various strange objects being placed around the facility. Though they all looked like a mess to him, he felt as though there was a lot of research involved, with many books laying half open and yellowed papers still fluttering about in loose sheets. </p>
<p>"What did you being me here for?" He grumbles, thinking that this was just a big mess Junta had produced. How did it have to do with the other actor?</p>
<p>But then he saw it. </p>
<p>Ayagi's eyes widened as he finally sees <em>it</em> at the centre of the room. He was suddenly speechless, trying to find words to say but not sure what to.</p>
<p>... Being encased in something like a semi-transparent, blue fluid, was a naked man who looked way too familiar. The light from the facility had caused little shadows to form on his body through the liquid. From here, Ayagi could see that his black hair was bobbing gingerly in the blue fluid, the constant motion forming a strange image, like he was almost <em>alive</em>.</p>
<p>His skin was a sickly white like he had been sick for a long time, but other than that Ayagi was surprised to notice his limbs in perfect shape, albeit the tinge of disgust he feels towards seeing this.</p>
<p>Ayagi's entire being trembled as Junta lets his hand glide across the circular shell thing that's encasing Takato. His eyes are fixated, mesmorized, and he's taut with fear as he watched as the complex pipings which led to the shell pumped more of the blue mixture into it.</p>
<p>"You're out of your damn mind." He whispered.</p>
<p>He's suddenly staring at Junta for what seems like the first time, taking in his disheveled hair, eyebags and his almost psychopathic smile as he surveyed the figure within. Ayagi steps back, looking up at Takato, whose eyes were shut.</p>
<p>"There's just <em>no way</em> this is going to work."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys! Toot__Toot here! I'm the one who actually thought up the prompt and wrote up some drafts for it, and for Yvonne to make up for literally NEVER telling me she wrote fanfiction until I found out myself one day, I asked her to help me to write this into a full story XDDD Hope you guys will like it. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Eventually he won't be able to see you or your works anymore.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was unfair. </p>
<p>Everything about this was unfair. </p>
<p>Junta watched as Ayagi's face contorts with horror when he turned towards him, eyes blown wide from the spectacle. Instead of being the slightest bit happy, the other actor looked angry, and this utterly confused Junta. </p>
<p>Shouldn't he be happy that Takato was here and well? And Junta had gone through a long thought process before ultimately bringing him here, too, thinking about all the consequences. The other should have been overjoyed.</p>
<p>But what was with his reaction? </p>
<p>Pretending like Junta was the only one who wants Takato to be okay... Pretending that he's the <em>only</em> one hurting for all those years... Who was Ayagi trying to fool? </p>
<p>"What are you even doing? Keeping his corpse as a trophy? What does that even do?!"</p>
<p>That <em>stung</em>. Something inside of him, ugly and withered, soaks up the words despite him wanting to dispel it. "He's not dead." Junta whispered, stepping back, suddenly seeing him as some sort of enemy. "He's not dead! Why do I have to explain it to everyone? Why won't anyone believe me?" He lashed out. "Out of everyone, <em>you</em> should understand me the most! He's not dead. He's not!"</p>
<p>Ayagi's breathing was getting heavier by the second. He shook his head, like he's trying to calm himself down. Like Junta was the one crazy here. But <em>look!</em> He's fine! Takato was here and soon they would all be together again. Instead of appreciating his effort, why was he doing that?</p>
<p>"Maybe you should go." If Junta's judgement had happened to be wrong and Ayagi had not felt the same as he had, then he supposed the only thing he could do was to continue this alone. </p>
<p>So he shuts him out, turning his back on him to face the figure in front of him. At the masterpiece that would soon make Takato come back to life. It wasn't as though he needed <em>Ayagi</em> of all people to help him anyway.</p>
<p>"You sure?" The other looked unsettled. "Well... On hindsight it doesn't seem that bad... Maybe I overreacted a bit."</p>
<p><em>Liar</em>. He could see it in his eyes, the same fear and disgust the others had shown him when they saw his Takato. Junta remains silent. "I'll drop by if I have the time. I want to see your plan succeed, too." He flinched when Ayagi reached out in an attempt to pat his shoulder before he left. The angel eyed the intruder warily until he had left completely, sighing and allowing himself to relax.</p>
<p>Seeing Ayagi just reminded him way too much of <em>that</em> day; which has simultaneously became one of his best days and worst days in his life. He's tried not to think about it much and has resorted to telling himself the days will be like that again once everything has settled down.</p>
<p>Leaning against the glass, Junta stares up at the casing containing Takato, remembering things he shouldn't.</p><hr/>
<p>That day had been peaceful.</p>
<p>Junta had woken up like any other day, smiling as he noticed the other actor still soundly asleep, the slight movement as he breathed confirming he's well. He's cuddled up against him too, hands wrapped loosely around his arm. </p>
<p>He’s so happy that he has him.</p>
<p>"...hm..." Shifting a little, Takato blearily opens his eyes, before letting it focus on him. He blinks a few times. "Chun...ta? Morning..."</p>
<p>"Morning, Takato-san!" He replies cheerily, chuckling as the other actor sits up, kicking aside the sheets but looking like he had no intention to leave the bed.</p>
<p>"Takato-san's work starts early in the morning today, right?" Junta points out with a smile. "You're going to be late if you don't get up." He playfully murmurs.</p>
<p>Another groan.</p>
<p>"Well, in that case..." Junta stands and swoops him up, carrying him bridal style, starting a beeline towards the bathroom. Takato looked too tired to protest and shut his eyes as the other handed him his toothbrush and facewash. </p>
<p>It's at times like this when he still refuses to believe that he's with the other man now, blissfully living together. At times, he would have nightmares of losing him and what they had, causing him to wake up drenched in cold sweat. </p>
<p>
  <strong>...</strong>
</p>
<p>Still sleepy and half-awake, the dressed Takato shares a "take care kiss" with Junta, which as promised became a daily dose of affection. A lot more things became common in their daily lives -- and affection was no doubt one of them.</p>
<p>Takato breaks away, still slightly flushed and dazed, adjusting his bag which had slid down his shoulders.</p>
<p>"... See you later. I love you." Takato murmurs softly after the lazy morning kiss. Already halfway through leaving, his expression takes on a more complicated look as he comprehends what he just said. </p>
<p>Junta seemed to glow. That had been the first time he had let something so intimate like that slip. Since 'like' and 'love' had similar connotations, Takato had only really said he liked him in a series of ways like through slang. </p>
<p>"Uwah!! Takato-san. Did you really just say that?"</p>
<p>Takato flushed, suddenly looking much more awake than he has in the past few hours. "Say what?" He mumbles, quickly shoving his feet into his shoes and opening the door, obviously an attempt to leave before anything else escalated. "I gotta go. Bye."</p>
<p>"I love you too!" Junta yells from behind him, his voice echoing in the corridors, and Takato hides his face in embarrassment as he skips two steps at a time out. </p>
<p>That day had been so peaceful. He had planned for more to happen when Takato came back -- a party for his birthday prince, that's for sure -- as well as the giving of gifts. He wanted to tease him too, and already Junta could see at the back of his mind the flushed face of the other actor as he asked him about the commotion today.</p>
<p>So why?</p>
<p>Why had he received a call from Sasaki in the evening saying that Takato was in the hospital?</p>
<p>He could barely make out anything his manager said except that it's an emergency due to an accident.</p>
<p>On the way there, Junta had laughed it off too. It must've been a prank, right? Since when did Takato become so cheeky, trying to trick him into worrying?</p>
<p>He could see it now -- the balloons and colours and food. Takato must have done it out of spite since Junta had pretended to forget his birthday the previous year, something that caused the other man to be quite distressed because of how nonchalent he sounded about that day.</p>
<p>But as he rushed to the hospital, he's only filled with more and more dread that pummeled his hopes down. There's a huge crowd of fans being stopped outside, all staring in with worried and curious eyes as Junta appeared. Ayagi had came in a while after too, and after questioning the nurse, both of them had rushed towards the hospital room. </p>
<p>His stomach drops as he gets closer and the door opens, with whatever he saw next making him feel suddenly powerless and weak. </p><hr/>
<p>He lets his hands trail across the piece of glass keeping him and Takato apart. On some days he feels like opening it, ripping it apart so he can truly touch him. But that would defeat the purpose of his efforts all these years. So he restrains himself and stares at him, a longing look in his eye as he places his palm out on the round glass, where they were so close but so far.</p>
<p>As irritating the whole thing was, Junta was determined that he would succeed. He wouldn't do anything that involved hurting Takato when he's come so far now. </p>
<p>Because one day, he knows; just one day, Takato will be back and they'll live life like how it was before.</p>
<p>It doesn't matter that nobody believed him. Junta worked days on end, piling up books after books. Ayagi came sometimes to just watch him and hang around, maybe offer him a drink, telling him that he can't work on it if he didn't take enough breaks. And Junta would relent sometimes.</p>
<p>But he worked hard nevertheless.</p>
<p>Because he knew that he couldn't give up.</p>
<p>Of all people, he was the one closest to Takato. </p>
<p>And Takato was going to be just fine, he knows that.</p><hr/>
<p>"Ayagi. Wake the fuck up, Ayagi!" </p>
<p>Being shaken awake by Junta, the blonde haired actor quickly sits up in alarm, registering that something terrible has probably happened. But Junta looked almost... Happy? He hasn't seemed that lively in years, and he looks almost younger now, back to when a certain other actor was always around him, back to when they would flirt in his presence.</p>
<p>"Whuh?" He grunts, startled at his expression and how excited he looks. This just felt wrong on someone like Junta after all the months he spent watching him put on a grim frown.</p>
<p>"I think I know just how to go about this. And I want you to watch it." He shoves him almost too hard from the spot he's been napping at, and disgruntled, the actor begins walking, following him to where Junta wants him to be, still surprised at his actions. It looks like he even has a spring in his step as he bops towards the area of where Takato was encased. </p>
<p>Since the last few months, Junta had been seemingly working on a series of levers at the side of the shell which can be adjusted at will. Ayagi dubiously raised an eyebrow as Junta pulls a few, running some controls that probably only he knows how to manage. </p>
<p>Clouds of smoke suddenly filled the facility, then, as the shell moved under Ayagi's intense staring, cracking open.</p>
<p>The blue fluid slowly leaks out of its original casing, running down Takato's still form as he's abruptly released like a lifeless doll being freed from its prison. </p>
<p>"Takato-san!" Junta rushes forward while Ayagi remains rooted to the ground. The other man brings him into his arms, seemingly unaffected by the strange blue goo that's starting to stain on his shirt as he picked him up. He checks his breath, for a heartbeat, anything, starting to panic.</p>
<p>"Please, <em>please</em>," He choked out, caressing his cheek, holding him closer. "This should have worked. This <em>has</em> to work."</p>
<p>But Takato's body remained rigid. Ayagi looks away, pained as the other man begins to cry openly in his presence, unable to hold himself back, tears shining brightly under the lights of the facility. He's holding Takato's hand tight, with the latter's fingers being loose and relaxed, having zero tension in them.</p>
<p>Ayagi walks closer, soft steps in order to not interrupt the angel that much. He crouches down beside him, looking up at the figure, about to utter a word or two of comfort when he suddenly notices something. </p>
<p>Immediately he jerks back in reflex, eyes fearful as he lands on the ground, the blue goo getting onto his clothes as well. Junta looks up at the commotion, his eyes fixating on Ayagi for a confused moment before he warily looked down to the man in his arms.</p>
<p>Takato still looked the same. His eyes were shut, he's frowning and unmoving, and his limbs were still. Junta narrowed his eyes, worried, and cautiously brings a finger up to his nose to test for breathing. He's shaking but trying his best not to make any sounds of movements.</p>
<p>"Takato-san, please..." He whispered.</p>
<p>A second. Two. Ayagi was starting to think what he saw was just a trick played on his mind itself. He stares at the figure, afraid that any slight blink would cause him to not catch any movement of Takato's.</p>
<p>A minute. Two. He feels drained and disappointed, but Junta continued placing his hand there. After time passed long enough for Ayagi to think that there's no hope, Junta suddenly lets out an earnest yelp as he pulls away his hand. </p>
<p>Ayagi jolts. He watches as Takato breathes in slowly, ever so shallowly, to fill his lungs with air.</p>
<p>The last of what he sees is Junta starting to cry his heart out while touching Takato's face before everything seems to turn into a blur.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Even if He Can't See, He'll Know By Touch.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first few moments of consciousness were brief. He had only remembered it was dark and still, and he had been tired just by the action of taking in his surroundings that much. </p>
<p>He's not afraid and found it unnecessary to panic. Thinking was just difficult now. Instead, every part of him seemed to be smothered with a strange feeling of calmness that told him he should close his eyes and rest. His limbs are relaxed and utterly at ease, so he gave in.</p>
<p>The next time he had woken up, he had been met face first with a piercing headache. The sudden intrusion of sound left his thoughts screeched to a halt as he tried to get used to it, desperately wishing for the sharp sounds to stop. Everything seemed to hurt his ears, intense and overwhelming.</p>
<p>Even the distant chirp from a bird had seemed to be amplified to a monstrous screech. In cold sweat, he tried putting some strength into his hand in an attempt to move them, but they only seemed to be as stiff as stone. Rigid and heavy, he felt his numb hand reluctantly twitch after much effort, but it still wasn't enough to cover his ears.</p>
<p>Amongst all the panic and confusion, a pair of warm, foreign hands had cautiously reached forward and cupped over his ears, and he gratefully leaned into the touch.</p>
<p>The person had carefully laid down beside him, causing the bed to creak a bit under the additional weight. Pressing his face into the nice person's shoulder, he relaxes slightly. He smelled nice -- like cookies just out from the oven or warm clothes that were just washed, dried and brought in.</p>
<p>It queased the feeling of uneasiness piling up in his stomach, making him feel the slightest bit better.</p><hr/>
<p>Days had passed since Takato started having enough energy to actually think. His thoughts were in bits and pieces and everything still felt confusing, but it felt better now that he was beginning to be able to hear and move without it triggering that much pain.</p>
<p></p><div><p>Flexing his fingers a little, Takato tried to make his hand form something, a fist, anything. It was strange that he still couldn't see anything, so he could barely tell how everything around him looked like.</p>
<p>There's a shuffling sound of someone walking in. Chunta never used to walk with that much sound, but does it now so as to not alarm him by suddenly appearing by his side.</p>
<p>"Good morning, Takato-san," He felt Chunta carefully squeeze his hand, sounding a little relieved as Takato responds through the slightest of touch. "You can move now?"  </p>
<p><em>Yeah, he could, but it felt weird.</em> Takato felt numb all over -- especially his legs, they seemed almost unresponsive. Maybe it were the effects from the accident?</p>
<p>He doesn't remember much of it. In fact, all his memories from that particular day felt a little hard to recall as well. It was way easier to just focus on what's happening now. And since Chunta was here, he supposed he didn't have much to worry about -- the other man would fill him in on all the details later on.</p>
<p>"Ah, try feeling your shirt too, to see if you can feel the texture." Chunta warily guided his arm to his clothes. </p>
<p>Takato does as he's told. He frowns as he grasps at the shirt to the best of his ability, immediately noticing how soft it is. </p>
<p>"Pink." He deadpanned. <em>It's definitely the pink one with fluffy colours. Of course.</em></p>
<p>Chunta laughed. "You got me." </p>
<p>They spent time just talking. Takato kept his questions about the accident to himself for the time being -- it wasn't as if he could speak much anyway. </p>
<p>Everything just felt slowed, like he was stuck and had been unable to free himself from the stones pulling him down. He wondered about how long it must have been since he had actually moved, causing his limbs to feel like they were weighed down by iron.</p>
<p>There was just one pressing issue, though, that he just <em>had</em> to vocalize.</p>
<p>"I can't see anything..." </p>
<p>"Ah, the effects of the medicine will set in slowly. You just have to wait a little." Chunta reassures, and Takato took in his words with relief. </p><hr/>
<p>Takato normally woke up at abnormal times since he couldn't discern day and night. Cautiously feeling around slightly with his limited movements, he tried to grasp where the other man was on the bed. </p>
<p>"Chunta." He tries, quietly, a whisper. Normally, Chunta would be by his side in an instant because they slept together. But he didn't feel his presence today.</p>
<p><em>What</em>...? A little surge of panic surged through him. Maybe it was the morning now and he had to go for work? But surely he wouldn't have left Takato alone like <em>this</em>?</p></div><div>
  <p>"Chunta?" He tries again, louder now, trying to feel anything at all as he attempts to cranes his head. He can't feel him on the bed at all.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nothing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There's no one on the bed and no one responding to him. And he couldn't see anything but darkness. </p>
  <p>Shaking, Takato tries calling out a few times more, his voice hoarse, heart racing with disbelief as there was still no reply.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Had Chunta not loved him anymore? Had he left him because he was too troublesome to take care of? </p>
  <p>Frantically, he tries to shift his legs, which budged heavily like a door left unoiled for a long time. He crawled to the edge of the bed, nails sinking into the mattress as he tries to shakily sit up. He felt as though he was going to throw up, terror sweeping over him as he suddenly slipped and dropped to the floor ungracefully, his limbs taking most of the impact.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It had begun to hurt, then. His legs, which were already inflexible to begin with, screamed out in agony as he fell on the ground. Takato hissed, starting to choke out sobs, feeling utterly helpless. </p>
  <p>Amidst all his shaky breathing, Takato hadn't even realised that someone had entered the room. The said person had reached out to carefully hold him up and right his posture, and Takato had clung onto him immediately, like holding on to a lifejacket amidst the process of almost drowning.</p>
  <p>"Chun..." He begun but paused, the delight on his face parting to become confusion. This person carried a different scent of aftershave, which was quite different from Chunta. </p>
  <p>"Saijou-san." The hands shook his shoulders briefly. "Are you okay?"</p>
</div><p>Takato recognises that voice. "Aya...gi?"</p>
<p>Ayagi quickly pats his back. "Seriously, what the hell? I heard you screaming. Did you hurt yourself?"</p>
<p>He shook his head, like the previous pain he had felt from falling had not been a matter. "Chunta... Where did he go?"</p>
<p>A pause.</p>
<p>Ayagi pulls away from him slightly and sighs. Even his tone seemed to be dulled down as he spoke his next sentence.</p>
<p>"That guy, he's out to get some ingredients. He said he'd make you something good later."</p>
<p>"He'd... Come back." Takato murmurs dumbly, relieved, repeating the sentence like a mantra. "He'd come back."</p>
<p>"Yeah..." </p>
<p>Wait. Out of all people, how did <em>Ayagi</em> know he was here? Wherever the hell he was? Did Chunta tell him to come and watch over him? Feeling himself burning with questions, Takato turns towards the general direction Ayagi seems to be at.</p>
<p>"Ayagi."</p>
<p>"Yes?" The other man's voice was further now, and there was a sound of him pouring water. Almost immediately after Takato is nudged with a cup of the warm liquid. He warily takes a few sips before Ayagi draws it away from him.</p>
<p>"Can you tell me what happened on that day?" Takato mumbles. "I don't remember much outside of how I got into an accident. Ch-- Azumaya doesn't say much about it, too."</p>
<p>"Just ask him. He's close to you, right?" Ayagi was back beside him.</p>
<p>"Yeah, but he tends to avoid the topic altogether about the accident... am I in the hospital now? Or did he bring the hospital equipment back home?"</p>
<p>"Eh..." Ayagi trailed off, sounding suddenly uncertain, very much unlike him. "He told me not to tell you anything yet, so..."</p>
<p>"Then what about the fans? Were they scared? Should i just go back like this?"</p>
<p>"Wait, what? He didn't even tell you this much?"</p>
<p>That caught Takato's attention.</p>
<p>"Tell me <em>what</em>?" He felt fear creep underneath his skin. What was Chunta hiding from him that Ayagi knew?</p>
<p>"No... It's nothing." Again, he's being evasive. Takato tried to make himself sound as dominant as he could.</p>
<p>"Ayagi." He gritted his teeth. </p>
<p>"..."</p>
<p>"Just tell me."</p>
<p>"..."</p>
<p>"I won't get mad. Promise I wouldn't tell Azumaya too."</p>
<p>Silence. Takato was beginning to grow very afraid. Had Ayagi left him too?</p>
<p>He called out experimentally.</p>
<p>"Oi... Are you still here?"</p>
<p>"You... Didn't survive the car accident."</p>
<p>"..." Takato felt his hands twitch in surprise.</p>
<p>The silence ringing in his ears after was deafening. He tries to process the words Ayagi had just said, trying to find another meaning he could have meant. But all fails and he simply gapes.</p>
<p>"I... <em>What</em>?" Takato felt his blood run cold.</p>
<p>"On that day. It was all over the headlines, too. I saw it for myself. They laid the sheet over you."</p>
<p>It became hard to breathe.</p>
<p>"I... Died? But..."</p>
<p>But he was still here. What was Ayagi talking about? </p>
<p>He immediately reached out with his limited movements to try and feel his body, poking at his own abdomen. It was firm, human. He was <em>human</em>. So how...?</p>
<p>"Don't ask me." Ayagi sounded dejected. "I don't know how, but he somehow resurrected you." </p>
<p>Takato grew silent. Resurrection? </p>
<p>If he had been dead, what year was it now? Had it been tens of years since the accident? Was that why he hadn't been able to move very flexibly?</p>
<p>And was Takato half of an AI now, if resurrection was possible? </p>
<p>He had so many questions. But what scared him the most was his <em>eyes</em>. Chunta had made sure they were well hidden with a cloth at all times, and had prevented him from touching it, saying that his eyes were sensitive from sunlight now. But what if he had hidden some sort of AI machine in there?</p>
<p>"Saijou-san?"</p>
<p>"I'm fine..." Takato felt cold out of a sudden. Of all things, Chunta had kept the fact that he was dead from him. Sure, Takato would have still been freaked out, but... </p>
<p>If it had been Chunta, he would have used the right words to reassure him this would be okay. So why hadn't he? Was he planning to keep this from him forever?</p><hr/>
<p>Currently laying on the bed, Takato decides maybe he should try to probe at the issue on hand to find out about how he had thought of the accident. "Chun... ta."</p>
<p>"Hm?" The other man was in the midst of collecting the empty plates of food Takato had gobbled up minutes ago.</p>
<p>"What do you think the fans would think if I return back to acting?"</p>
<p>"You want to go back, Takato-san?" Chunta didn't even sound alarmed. Takato wished he could see his face -- maybe he would look alarmed instead?</p>
<p>"Hn... I guess."</p>
<p>"But what if you get into another accident?"</p>
<p>"You'd protect me, wouldn't you?" Somehow, it sounded like this conversation was going nowhere, but he had to try. Even if there was the slightest of hope, he wanted to find out something from Chunta himself.</p>
<p>A pause. Just as Takato thinks he's close to finding out the truth, Chunta draws away. "Is Takato-san thirsty? I'll go bring some drinks for you."</p>
<p>"Ah, wait!" As expected, Chunta had avoided answering his questions. Takato huffs as the other man quickly takes his leave.</p>
<p>Was it because he was a zombie now so he can't go outside?</p>
<p>Exactly what was Chunta hiding from him?</p>
<p>Raising a hand, Takato reaches out to cautiously touch at the cloth tied firmly at the back of his head, securing both his eyes from light.</p>
<p>His heart hammered in his chest and he hesitated. But this was the only way to find out whether he was actually <em>different</em> now, was it?</p>
<p>He holds his breath and cautiously pulls at the knot with his stiff fingers.</p>
<p>"Takato-san, what are you doing?"</p>
<p>The mentioned actor froze.</p>
<p>Just as his movement ceased, though, the knot came free and the cloth slipped off his eyes to reveal the sight in front of him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Let's stop talking about this.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The light had blinded Takato when the cloth first came off.</p><p>He had reached out to shield his eyes, both terrified and enthralled by the fact that he could still see. Blinking away tears that formed due to his eyes' sensitivity to light, Takato's heart hammered in his chest. He waited for a few seconds before carefully pulling away his hand to uncover the sights before him.</p><p>Squinting and trying his best to focus, he could then make out the structure of furniture set around him, his bed that was a dark grey scale, and even the little patterns on his blanket. The room -- though he could tell it wasn't in either his or Junta's apartment, had a mix of both their apartment's style and colour. Pots of plants and scripts lay neatly around the room.</p><p>He could see. </p><p>Rubbing his eyes, Takato found himself able to focus on the objects before him better.</p><p>He <em>could</em> see all along. There was no AI or robotic scanners in his eyes, nothing of the sort like that, so why...?</p><p>Takato stared up to find Junta staring at him with a forlorn look a fair distance away. </p><p></p><div>
  <p>His lips went dry. Junta had looked... very different, though also very much the same. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He still carried that sparkly aura just like when they had first met, that <em>presence</em> that captivated him. But somehow he looked way worse than Takato imagined him being. If his hair being unkempt wasn't enough of an indication, the deep eyebags under his eyes were. He just looked tired but also simultaneously extremely worried.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Somehow, Junta didn't look too happy at the discovery that he could actually see. In fact, he seems a little speechless, like he had <em>known</em> all along but didn't expect Takato to find out, like he couldn't find the right comeback to an argument he was originally winning.</p>
  <p>Setting down the cups of hot chocolate on the table beside him, Junta moves steadily towards him and sat down on the mattress, at the spot Takato recognised he always would be, back when he still couldn't see.</p>
  <p>... Or rather, wasn't <em>allowed</em> to see.</p>
  <p>"I told you not to take off the cloth. Did you hurt your eyes?" Junta mumbles calmly, stroking his cheek gingerly with a small smile on his face. </p>
  <p>And now that he thought about it, this was probably why Junta looked so unlike himself. His smile was no longer of a delightful angel's as he watched his every movement, but rather one that was almost restricted, like he had a sense of seriousness which he viewed as priority atop of everything he did. He looked almost too calm for someone driven by passion and emotion like him, and that was just odd to watch.</p>
  <p>"No. I'm just not that used to light, that's all." Takato begun to grow skeptical of the man in front of him. There was something off about his speech, and he found it scary that he couldn't exactly pinpoint <em>what</em>.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Takato-san, your eyes are still healing." Without warning, Junta suddenly leans forward, cloth in hand, attempting to tie it back around his head. Takato sputters, surprised by the sudden action.</p>
  <p>"Chunta, I can see perfectly fine."</p>
  <p>"..." His hands just kept working. Takato felt himself starting to panic -- it was almost as if his words weren't going through to Junta.</p>
  <p>"Chunta?"</p>
  <p>Despite his refusal, Junta continued to work on making an extremely tight knot, as if he heard nothing. "Stop! You're hurting me!" Takato winced, reaching out blindly to where Junta's hands were.</p>
  <p>Realising that he probably wasn't going to respond to him, Takato feels for Junta's hands and struggles fitfully against him, trying to undo the knot. A moment passed just with Junta trying his best to secure the cloth and Takato attempting to fight against it by undoing whatever he had started.</p>
  <p>"Takato-san, -"</p>
  <p>"I told you, I can do things myself!"</p>
  <p>"YOU CAN'T!" Junta suddenly roared, shoving him. The back of Takato's head hit the pillow, and the actor felt his head spin for a few moments. By the time he realised what was happening, Junta had already grabbed his hands and pinned them together on the bed. "You <em>can't</em>, okay?"</p>
  <p>"Chun..."</p>
  <p>"Stop moving." He climbs over him, pulling hard before leaving the cloth secured on his eyes.</p>
  <p>"..." It had hurt, but by now the actor was more terrified and startled than anything. Breathing rapidly, Takato grows very still, keeping his hands firmly at his sides even as Chunta got off of him.</p>
  <p>He bit his lip, trying his best not to cry in this situation. He felt overwhelmed, especially since he had only just begun to regain consciousness and the ability to move a few weeks back. Did he make him angry? </p>
  <p>Shit, he thinks he's going to cry, but that would probably just make Junta even more stressed than he already was. A moment of silence awkwardly trespassed them, with Takato just swallowing hard, aggrieved emotions bubbling to the surface despite his best efforts to suppress them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then the cloth was abruptly removed from his field of vision. Junta cautiously peeks at him, looking almost regretful and a bit flustered, gritting his teeth as he drew his hands quickly away from him. His expression was a myriad of emotions Takato couldn't decipher. "Takato-san..."</p>
  <p>He blinks, any trace of emotion disappearing as he quickly sets the cloth aside, leaning in to pull him into a shaky embrace. "I'm sorry. Did I scare you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Takato stared at him, unable to even muster a word. The Junta he knew never raised his voice at him, no matter what situation it had been. He just felt shaken inside, and the feeling persisted for a while.</p>
  <p>"I'm sorry. I just don't want you to get hurt again." Junta's hands trailed very cautiously on Takato's wrist, nuzzling the spot he had grabbed previously and caused there to be a bruise. Gingerly, he leans in and kissed him on the lips. "Takato-san should understand, right?"</p>
  <p>"..."</p>
  <p>Junta's mouth roamed over his skin. "I don't want anybody to take you away from me."</p>
  <p>Takato's body was stiff and rigid under the displays of affection. Something that came naturally to them before just didn't feel right anymore. Noticing his expression, Junta leans in once more, peppering kisses all over his neck. "I'm sorry. It's okay now. I won't hurt you again..."</p>
  <p>"I know." The small noise Takato uttered next was vacant and fearful, drowned out by Junta's next advances on him.</p>
  <hr/>
</div><p>Takato spent the next few days wandering around the house he's living at. The more he goes around, the more he feels unsettled. The house didn't seem to be located very near the city he's familiar with -- all he could see was a very limited view from the windows that remained shut and locked at all times.</p><p>That didn't bother him as much as the reason behind Junta's weird actions, though. Why had Junta not told him the truth? He knows of why he is so scared of letting him go out now, but... If Ayagi hadn't told him, he would still have been so confused.</p><p>And besides, he might have even attempted to go out if he didn't know he was proclaimed dead by the public. Wouldn't that have been worse if he had been seen by the outside world?</p><p>"Takato-san?" Junta calls out, setting down the food ingredients he had just brought home. "You can walk around the place now." He sounded relieved. </p><p>"Just a little. I still need to walk slowly." Takato smiles back. He looked up in pleasant surprise and quickly relaxed as Junta came over, lifting him a little to fix his rigid posture. Moving his legs, Takato found it way easier to walk that way.</p><p>"This is great. I think I'll be able to walk outside by next week... What do you think?" Takato turns towards Junta, almost expecting him to come clean, but the other man simply fell silent once more.</p><p>"... Chunta?"</p><p>"Takato-san is tired, right? I'll bring you back to bed."</p><p>"Eh?" Takato is suddenly lifted. "Wait, but I--"</p><p>He's placed down on the bed, gently this time. "I'll go make Takato-san some soup. Wait here for me and don't walk unnecessarily, okay?"</p><p>He stares after Junta with a frown as the man quickly left. What was with him?</p><hr/><p>The strange actions persisted for the next month they spent together. For one instant Junta would be helping him get better, but once Takato mentioned anything about actually going outside or had questions about the accident, Junta would just find some excuse and leave.</p><p>"You changed the shampoo." Currently in the bathtub and leaning against Junta, Takato noticed something different about the brand he was now using.</p><p>Though he was able to do these kinds of small things himself now, Junta seemed to enjoy helping him. And besides, they used to do things like soaping each other's hair anyway, so he didn't particularly mind.</p><p>"Ah. I'll change it back to the one we were using."</p><p>"It's fine. I like this one too." Takato paused as he felt Junta's hand stop massaging his scalp. </p><p>"No. We can all go back to how things were. Everything will be alright." Junta sounded determined. </p><p>Takato clenched his teeth. What was with his twisted perception that everything will be the same again?</p><p>How did he even expect things to be the same without even telling him the truth? </p><p>"But it's not." He quibbed fitfully.</p><p>"...Takato-san?"</p><p>"Things aren't alright. Things were <em>never</em> alright." Takato found himself starting to tear up. He felt like an absolute doll in this place, someone whose actions were controlled and regulated. Someone who Junta didn't find necessary to tell the truth to. The longer he stayed here, the more he doubted whether they used to actually be lovers. Junta just felt like a stranger now, cold and reserved.</p><p>Takato turns to face him, staring at him straight in the eye.</p><p>"You didn't <em>even</em> tell me I died in that accident."</p><p>"You're crying..." Junta reached forward to brush at his cheek, looking pained. "Dying? What's with that?" He laughed. "Did you have a scary dream?"</p><p>Takato sniffled, staring at him in disbelief, shaking his head as he felt more tears fall. His throat felt as though there was an uncomfortable lump there and his eyes just hurt from blinking.</p><p>"Are you still going to continue not telling me anything?" He utters, voice soft.</p><p>"Tell you what? You were in a coma after the accident, Takato-san. That's all there is to it."</p><p>"No, I--" he thought of raising his voice, thought of getting mad. </p><p>But then Takato begins to laugh, broken noises echoing in the small enclosed space. He raised a hand to his face, utterly helpless, unable to stop himself from weeping.</p><p>This wasn't his Junta. </p><p>This was <em>never</em> his Junta.</p><p>Whatever Takato said... It won't get through to him.</p><p>"Takato-san..."</p><p>Because his Junta, innocent and bubbly, had died along with Takato after the accident.</p><p>"I'm alright."</p><p>Junta drew away. He looked uncertain. "Did I do something again? Maybe I shouldn't be by your side?"</p><p>"No. No, everything is fine." Takato felt more tears fall. If anything, this was <em>his</em> own fault.</p><p>What had his death done to Junta? How exactly had he lived all these years?</p><p>"I'm fine." He draws the other man into a hug, kissing his forehead gingerly, breathing out shakily. "I'm fine."</p><p>
  <strong>...</strong>
</p><p>Takato lays on his bed after the bath. He had gotten into the fluffy pink pajamas that Junta had kept, and he just felt drained and exhausted after the entire ordeal of crying in the bathroom. </p><p>It hurts to even briefly think about anything now. He wants to go out and have some fresh air, but... No. It was nowhere near a good idea.</p><p>A sudden knock on his door drew him up to a sitting position. Takato watched as Ayagi walks in, setting some snacks down. </p><p>... That was strange. He does recall hearing him put stuff down in his room sometimes, but he never once had the chance to eat the food he brought. Maybe Junta had thrown it away, thinking that it wasn't healthy for him?</p><p>"Saijou-san~ I'm here again, since your boyfriend went outside to buy shampoo." He paused as he turned around and regarded him. "Oh. You can see now."</p><p>"I could see all along." Takato sighed, looking away. "I guess he just wanted me to depend on him longer."</p><p>"... Did something happen?"</p><p>Takato shook his head, troubled by the problem between him and Junta. </p><p>"Okie~ but if you need anything, I'll be here eating <em>onigiri</em>."</p><p>Takato nodded, staring listlessly up at the ceiling. His eyes widened as he suddenly thought of something, and he sat up straighter, as much as his stiff spine allowed him to.</p><p>"Ayagi. I need you to do something for me."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Are you okay walking around at night?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"Ayagi, I want you to tell me exactly what happened during the time I was gone."</em>  <em>Takato straightened himself, staring at Ayagi straight in the eye</em>. "<em>Everything you remember."</em></p><p>
  <em>Ayagi nodded, seeing how serious Takato was. He leaned back against the chair, onigiri still in hand. "Well... If I'm going to talk, you'd better eat up too."  He tossed some snacks and the onigiri he bought in Takato's direction, and the actor catches them very cautiously.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Thanks." He unwraps it and takes a bite.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The other man sighed, staring up at the ceiling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"How should I begin? It's a long story..."</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>After hearing Ayagi's reasoning and descriptions of what he remembered, Takato thinks he gets the reason behind Junta's odd behaviour.</p><p>Apparently, Junta had stopped acting after the accident, shutting everyone out. That strange act had drawn along a lot of conspiracy theories from the fans about their relationship, and reporters had been up his neck for quite a while trying to get information.</p><p>There had never been a concrete conclusion since Junta kept himself cooped up at home, but fans took his sudden change in behaviour after Takato's death to be evidence of their relationship.</p><p>So at the same time he had been affected, the fans had also simultaneously figured out their relationship, making things even harder for him to deal with.</p><p>And, besides being delusional about the death of Takato, Junta also didn't allow him to go to places like the balcony, saying it was dangerous for him.</p><p>... But he had also been the one helping him learn how to walk and had let him go around the place without the blindfold, so Takato supposed there was still a part of him that wanted him to be independent like before. </p><p>From this theory... As long as it didn't put them in danger or near popular areas where anyone would recognise them, Takato supposed Junta would oblige with anything he wanted to do.</p><p>"Chunta." Noticing the other man returning home with a huge bag of ingredients, Takato quickly set his script books aside and sat up. "Do you want to go out? I want some air."</p><p>Junta had only just set his items down. He looked a little surprised at the request, his movements slowing down as he regarded him.</p><p>"Takato-san..." He looked hesitant. </p><p>"Just the park nearby." Takato promised, moving closer to him and staring at him with determined eyes.</p><p>It's dark outside, too. Nobody would even see them at this time of the day if they were careful.</p><p>If what Ayagi said was true, the park near this house they were in was also quite deserted even in the mornings, giving it all the more reason it should be free of people at night.</p><p>"Takato-san..." Junta seemed almost afraid. "But what if..."</p><p>"There are no roads on our route to the park, right? I'll be fine." Takato stood, pushing him to the door. Maybe taking the initiative would do the trick? "Let's go, let's go."</p><p>He pulls at his arm, dragging him along. Junta seemed extremely worried, but relented in the end with Takato's expectant gaze on him.</p><p>"... Okay." As expected, his theory was right. Junta had somewhat agreed to going out, holding his hand tightly as they stepped out of the door. Takato triumphantly took his first steps out of the house while still holding his hand like they were kids, only then noticing abruptly how their flat seemed to be the only one in this caved in place, like they were physically isolated from the world.</p><p>Junta just keeps his gaze trained on him the whole time they were outside. Takato had been eager to look around the place, marvelling at how wherever they were at looked different from Meguro. </p><p>They had barely even stepped into the park before Junta had gripped Takato's hand, though, pulling gingerly. </p><p>"We should go back..." Junta trails off, looking around uncomfortably. He sounded hesitant, especially with how Takato was so happy to come outside, too. Noticing Takato's smile fading, the other man quickly looked away, like he was guilty about something.</p><p>"Okay." Fully knowing of how worried he was, Takato nodded firmly and turned back.</p><p>That seemed to surprise Junta. He falters and just stares at him for a moment like he hadn't expected that, but quickly pulled him along, back to the place where they would just be met with closed doors and the stale view.</p>
<hr/><p>"Chunta?"</p><p>Ever since the time when Takato had agreed to go back, Junta had begun behaving oddly and out of sorts. He had almost walked into a wall if Takato haven't yanked him away in time, and while he kept his gaze on Takato, he didn't seem as perceptive of his surroundings as when they had first came outside.</p><p>He watches as Junta sets down the keys soundlessly on the counter, grip still firm on Takato's hand. </p><p>"Chunta?" He called again, dipping himself into Junta's vision. The other man snaps out of it and had only then focused his gaze on him.</p><p>"Ah, yes?" He puts on a smile. </p><p>Takato pulls them both to the couch, troubled. Did he do something wrong? </p><p>Maybe his theory was wrong after all and he had still caused Junta to get worried by going outside?</p><p>"What's going on?" He gingerly guides Junta to look at him in the eye. Seeing the other man attempt to shrug it off, Takato then leans forward. "I know something happened. You can always tell me, I--"</p><p>Junta suddenly pulls Takato into an embrace, causing the actor to first freeze in shock. He cautiously reached out to put his hands on his back.</p><p>He pats his back, a little confused. Feeling the other man starting to tremble under his hold, which suspiciously resembled him crying, Takato grew alarmed. "Oi... What's wrong...?"</p><p>"I just need a hug..."</p><p>"You think I'm going to believe that?" Takato mutters in sheer disbelief. The last and <em>only</em> time he had seen him cry was because Takato had tried to do things independently again in Spain.</p><p>The other man shook his head, forcing a smile. "It's nothing."</p><p>"Just tell me!" </p><p>Junta stared up at him with watery eyes. He tried blinking the tears away rapidly but they just kept forming, running down his cheek like raindrops on windows. </p><p>Reaching out to touch his face, Junta smiles but begins to choke out sobs, his strong façade crumbling down into tiny pieces.</p><p>"I was <em>scared</em>." Junta's voice sounded hoarse from crying. His bottom lip quivering, he pressed Takato tighter to himself. "After the accident. For every single day, I thought to myself -- what if I don't get you back? What will I do then, without you?" He's speaking in incoherent little sentences now, heaving out his words.</p><p>Junta shook his head. "I was overjoyed when you came back to me. But I also knew you'd want to go out. You'd want to act again, you'd want to <em>live</em> again." He reached up to brush roughly at his own face. "I really thought, that maybe if I tried hard enough to avoid getting you from going out, I'd keep you away from danger. Then we could be together again, just in our small world."</p><p>He bit his bottom lip, looking away. "But I knew that it was not what you wanted. I was selfish, and it was ridiculous -- that you had to be the one accommodating to me and my wishes. But I really didn't want you to get in danger again, and--!"</p><p>"Chunta..."</p><p>Junta had pulled away.</p><p>"That's no good... Maybe Takato-san shouldn't be with me." Standing, he quickly wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry. I should have left you with Ayagi instead..."</p><p>Before Junta could continue, Takato had lunged at him, pulling him into his arms and knocking them both back onto the couch. Junta is still sniffling, shaking as Takato hugged him.</p><p>"Idiot... After going through all the trouble to get me back, you're going to <em>leave</em> me?" </p><p>"Takato-san..."</p><p>"I don't mind." He mumbles. "Staying with you like this, I mean." </p><p>"Eh...?" Junta's eyes visibly widened.</p><p>"It's not as if I have anyone really close to me besides my parents. I already have you here, and I also have Ayagi to keep me company. That's enough for me." Takato smiles. "Didn't you say it before? That you'll never let go of me no matter what happens. Are you going against that promise now?"</p><p>"No..." Junta stared at him, dumbfounded.</p><p>"Exactly." Pulling him close, Takato seals Junta's lips with a promise.</p><p>"So please -- don't be apart from me ever again."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Don't you remember me? Or maybe you can't see faces now at this distance?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Junta always has that one LOOK when staring at Takato. Whenever Takato's doing the smallest things you'd see him just sitting there so in love like 💕🤗💕 and it's just the softest thing ever JSHSKSKAK</p>
<p>Do you know which look I'm talking about? 😂😂</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After that day, Junta grew a bit more open. He would initiate bringing Takato outside, going to remote areas where they would just sit together and enjoy the view. </p>
<p>Currently on a deserted area near the beach, Takato slurps from a makeshift straw made from papaya stem for a drink. Junta had brought a bunch of food back for them, and he felt comfortably full.</p>
<p>"This is nice." Staring up at the stars, he huddles himself with his hoodie to get more warmth.</p>
<p>Junta is staring at him <em>that</em> way again. He's looking at him while resting his face on his knuckles, his eyes soft and full of what seemed like quiet admiration. It was almost like he had things that he couldn't express through words, his gaze heavy with emotion.</p>
<p>Feeling suddenly self conscious, Takato perked up, gaze travelling to the fruit in his hand. "What? You want the coconut drink too?" He raised it up towards his direction.</p>
<p>"No. It's just that... Takato-san smiled." Junta murmurs softly. He shifts closer to him until their shoulders were pressing against each other. "I haven't seen that in a while."</p>
<p>Takato flushed. <em>Why did he have to point out every single small thing he did? And why the hell was it always the embarrassing things?</em> "It just reminded me of the time we went to Hawaii." He chomps on a mango to ease his embarrassment.</p>
<p>Silence followed for a while after. Takato looks up, wondering whether he had said something wrong, only to see Junta looking back at him with a surprised expression.</p>
<p>"Takato-san..."</p>
<p>"What is it?" <em>Did something happen?</em></p>
<p>"That's it! If we go to Hawaii... Nobody will recognise us!" Junta shook his shoulders, an emphasis to his excitement. He sounded more and more lively as he considered the plan. "We'll start life over there anew. Just you and me."</p>
<p>"Idiot... The Japanese go to Hawaii, too. Wouldn't we be found out immediately?"</p>
<p>The other man shook his head, looking more convinced by the second. "But it's a better shot than staying here, right?" He grasped his hand, hopeful. "If we go ... if we go, we might be able to get new identities. And we'll be the only ones who know each other's names!"</p>
<p>Takato was still paranoid. "Chunta..."</p>
<p>Junta falters, noticing his expression. He lets go of his arm. "Is it... No good?"</p>
<p>"I want to start over with you." Takato blurts. "But Hawaii is just... How are we even going to get there? I can't use my passport..."</p>
<p>"If Takato-san wants, I can make one for you." Junta looks determined.</p>
<p>"What, with a fake name?" He tried thinking of a new name, but nothing particularly striking comes to mind. And besides... It wasn't as if he had <em>actually</em> used a fake name before...</p>
<p>If he had used one of his characters' names from the different dramas he had starred in, would it be too obvious?</p>
<p>"That's better. Then only I will be able to call Takato-san by his real name." Junta chuckled, holding his hand and planting a quick kiss on it. Noticing his watch, he then smiles at Takato. "We should go. The sun's going to rise soon..."</p>
<p>"Oh... Okay." Takato brushed his clothes free of some of the sand as he stood. He followed keenly behind Junta, both of them like shadows heading back in the dark.</p>
<p>A moment passed with only the sound of their footsteps echoing in Takato's ears. The crunch of sand under their feet was soothing and he allowed himself to get distracted by that for a while.</p>
<p>Then Junta leaned over slightly.</p>
<p>"Takato-san..." His voice had dropped down to a whisper.</p>
<p>Takato shifts closer, thinking that maybe it was something important he needed to tell him. </p>
<p>"I've been thinking. What about Tiketo? As your fake name."</p>
<p><em>what</em>?</p>
<p>"You're still on about that?" Takato huffed. <em>He had thought that the other man spotted danger or something...</em></p>
<p>"Of course! I'm serious!" Junta clung closer to him. "Tiketo sounds similar to your name. It's easier to familiarize yourself that way, too." </p>
<p>"What's next? You're going to say my surname is West Branch?" Honestly, Junta always thought of the lamest things. If he wanted a similar name, then he might as well have a surname produced from the same kanji.</p>
<p>"That's really good! As expected from Takato-san!"</p>
<p>"Shut up." Takato snickered, pushing his face away as the other man leaned in to get a kiss. Noticing a huge group of people standing a fair distance in front of them, he slows and looks up at Junta, who exchanges a worried but knowing look at him. </p>
<p>He consciously moved behind Junta to hide himself, which proved to be a wise move because one of the strangers from the group had suddenly rushed up towards their direction.</p>
<p>"Eh? Isn't this Junta-san??" A cheerful voice could be heard as the young man came forward. Takato's eyes widened in recognition at the voice, and he tries peeking at the person in front of him.</p>
<p><em>Narumiya</em>?</p>
<p>What was he doing out here in the dark?</p>
<p>"Oh, Narumiya-kun..." Junta spoke up with a smile. "Long time no see." </p>
<p>Though Takato couldn't exactly see that much, but he could tell that the teen had definitely matured now. He looked taller and more charming, and still seemed very upbeat.</p>
<p><em>So he did turn out to be a J-like actor, huh...</em> Takato smiled in approval. </p>
<p>"Ryo-kun! I told you not to run off so recklessly like that!" His manager sought after him, only to step back in bewilderment as she noticed him. "Whuh... Azumaya Junta?!"</p>
<p>Takato felt his blood freeze. With the manager's high pitched shriek, the whole set's actors had came forward to inspect the situation. Everyone had suddenly begun closing in on him, marvelling at his presence. </p>
<p>"Oh! It's Azumaya-kun!" A bunch of actors began rattling on, exchanging whispers about his looks and how he still looked dazzling as ever.</p>
<p>Amongst the crowd, Takato could spot Ayagi, who seemed to be part of the cast as well this time around. He's staring intensely at Junta, who exchanged a brief, worried look with him.</p>
<p>"Azumaya-kun! We haven't heard from you in literal years! Where did you disappear off to, huh?" The director, Torimachi, elbowed him.</p>
<p>Junta laughed it off. "Long time no see, Tomio-san."</p>
<p>"Enough with this~ we were going out for a feast, right? Who's treating?" Ayagi quickly tries to change the topic, but everyone seemed reluctant to leave Junta behind just like that.</p>
<p>"Definitely Azumaya-san! He's to treat us!"</p>
<p>"I want the most expensive sushi!"</p>
<p>Ayagi's eyes widened as he realised he's just made things go the wrong way. He opened his mouth to speak again but everyone was already pulling at an unmoving Junta's hands, pleading for him to come along.</p>
<p>"Don't worry, we'll be benevolent towards your wallet! Let's go~" The crowd was full of chatters as they tried to coax Junta to come along with them.</p>
<p>"Uhhh... Actually, Azumaya-kun, is that your friend?" Kitano points behind him, turning to the other actors to confirm his thoughts. "I thought I was seeing things, but there's someone behind him, right?"</p>
<p>"Now that you said it... I think so?" </p>
<p>"Ooh, is it your girlfriend?" Narumiya looked excited. "I wanna see, I wanna see!"</p>
<p>Pleasant murmurs buzzed in the crowd. "If it is, she must be such a beauty!"</p>
<p>"Sorry, everyone..." Junta laughed, raising his hands in defense. "I'm feeling quite tired today. We were just about to head back and rest."</p>
<p>"Oh! So it's someone you're living with?" Kurokawa Yurie raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>"Aw, don't be so shy!! Show us who she is! Is she an actor too?" Narumiya grins, throwing out a flock of questions. "She must've been great, to be comparable to Saijou-san!"</p>
<p>That dropped a bomb.</p>
<p>Everyone turned towards Ryo in an attempt to shush him. Some of the actors just openly gapes at him, staring between Junta and Ryo, nervous about his reaction to the statement.</p>
<p><em>So it was true, huh...</em> The fans and everyone being convinced that they once had an intimate relationship befire the accident.</p>
<p>If they had known this, it's no wonder that they would be extraordinarily careful not to mention Takato's name to Junta.</p>
<p>The crew had gone eerily silent. </p>
<p>"Sorry... Ryo-kun still doesn't really know how to speak sometimes." His manager stepped out and apologized.</p>
<p>"It's fine..."</p>
<p>A bit of uncomfortable silence drew on before Natsume suddenly surfaced from the crowd of actors. </p>
<p>"Wait, Azumaya-kun. Can I take a peek at your girlfriend, please? Just for a bit."  She clasps her hands together. "This is kind of nostalgic for me, since we played roles of unrequited lovers in your first starring drama."</p>
<p>"We're actually kind of curious... Too..." Some of the other newer actors that Takato didn't recognise spoke up. </p>
<p>"Well..."</p>
<p>Junta turns and eyes him, as if to ask whether he was okay with showing himself. With the crowd around him, too, he doubted they could go back without any of the actors seeing who he was.</p>
<p>Takato nodded firmly and Junta had only then stepped aside to reveal him as the centre of attention. Under the curious gaze of the cast and crew, he very cautiously pulled off the hoodie seluding his hair and his shades that masked his real eye colour, watching as they got increasingly confused. </p>
<p>"Well? Did you miss me?" He smiles wobbly, a little hesitant about whether what he did was the right thing. The atmosphere felt cold ever since he had showed his face.</p>
<p>Everyone had just froze on the spot, like they had witnessed something incredible as he presented himself.</p>
<p>"Saijou... Takato...?!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I recognise your voice.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Saijou-san..."</p>
<p>Everyone looked like they had forgotten how to speak as he reappeared. Takato tried to compose himself, suddenly feeling faint when seeing so many people after a long time. His legs were wobbly but he forced himself to keep it together, trying to remember all the times he had to look sharp in front of the camera.</p>
<p>What reasons could he give? Should he just come clean about what happened? Would they believe it? Or would they be disgusted that a person who was supposedly dead had come alive?</p>
<p>Instead of demanding to know what happened, everyone had suddenly thrown themselves forward to hug him. </p>
<p>"You're back!"</p>
<p>"I'm so glad you're okay!" Takato felt himself be rounded up into an embrace by the whole cast and crew. Stunned, he reaches out to return the gesture awkwardly. </p>
<p>Even Nakata had placed his hand on his head to pat him. "Guess I still have a grandson to make fun of, after all~" he grinned, pushing his thumb into Takato's head, which earnt a fierce growl from the actor.</p>
<p>This felt unfamiliar. Takato had always maintained a pleasant working relationship with the others, but never thought that it would actually be <em>personal</em> and translate to them being so affected by him leaving. If anything, the actors in middle school had taught him he had been unwelcome and secretly hated by the others.</p>
<p>So to see everyone pressed up against him and some of them even crying in relief made him happy. He couldn't help but smile as he's slowly released, met with pairs of curious eyes.</p>
<p>"What exactly happened? Was there a misreport?" </p>
<p>"Maybe we should contact the reporters and --"</p>
<p>"No," Both Junta and Takato utters at the same time, their tone a little too fierce as they watched Ryo raise his phone. The teenager pauses, putting down his phone as if surrendering. Junta then calms down. "Not for now."</p>
<p>"Why not? Isn't it inconvenient?"</p>
<p>"Things are... Complicated." Takato smiles sheepishly.</p>
<p>"If it's okay, I would like everyone to not spread the fact that Takato-san is alive around. Even to the other actors." Junta speaks up seriously, starting to sparkle, an act which always seems to win the people around him over.</p>
<p>A bunch of nods answered him.</p>
<p>"Wait, so it's 'Takato-san' now? Not 'Saijou-san'?" A fairly new actress mumbled to herself softly, as if having no intention for them to hear. But with the others being so silent, her voice seemed extraordinarily loud within the crowd. immediately, both cast and crew had stared up at the duo, and Takato flushed under the attention.</p>
<p><em>Shit</em>. And here he thought he could get away with being questioned by the actors.</p>
<p>"So it's true! The rumours about you two..." </p>
<p>"I knew it! The both of them were flirting during Mahiro no Hoshi!" </p>
<p>"Right? Right?? I saw Saijou-san give Azumaya-kun a can of his hot chocolate too!"</p>
<p>"And they've always been so close!"</p>
<p>Unable to retaliate, Takato stepped back and glared sharply at Junta, turning as red as a tomato at their congratulatory comments. <em>This is all your fault, pervert angel...</em></p>
<p>Instead of enjoying the attention as he previously might have regarding their relationship, Junta looked serious now. </p>
<p>"Everyone." </p>
<p>The crowd turns towards him, quietening down.</p>
<p>"I need you to promise me you won't speak of this to anyone. I don't want to cause Takato-san to be a spectacle again." He states. </p>
<p>"Okay... That's a shame... The fans would go crazy if they knew!"</p>
<p>"Then, can I have Saijou-san's number? I wanna call him sometime! There's so many things I could tell him." Narumiya suddenly raised his hand, distinguishing himself from the crowd.</p>
<p>"Ah... about that ... I don't think my phone is still in service."</p>
<p>"Awh." The younger actor pouts.</p>
<p>Takato smiles, pacifying him, trying to say that they'll definitely meet again sometime, despite knowing they probably wouldn't. If going out in the most remote hours would cause them to bump into other actors, who would they bump into next? The fans might not always be as logical as their fellow actors, one post to the world and their secret would be no more.</p>
<p>Even if he wanted to... He doubted he should go out anymore.</p>
<p>Junta seemed to realise Takato's worries. He gingerly stepped forward, whipping out a piece of paper, scribbling on it his own number. </p>
<p>"You can call me, if you like. I'll just hand the phone to Takato-san." Junta smiles. Ryo brightens immediately, taking the slip of paper and cradling it to himself. "Okay!!"</p>
<p>"Are you sure you can't come with us to get sushi?" Kitano looked disappointed. "It's been a while since we've seen both Saijou-chan and Azumaya-kun..."</p>
<p>"Sorry..." Takato turned it down with a forced smile. "Maybe next time?"</p>
<p>The crowd nodded. Some of them had come up to hug him and mumble their farewells. There were several crew members sniffling again, but all of them had dispersed to get back on their location bus eventually.</p>
<p>Kurokawa Yurie was among the last to leave, though, coming up to Takato with a proud smile and reaching out for a hug.</p>
<p>"Come to think if it... What were you two doing alone on the beach at such remote hours?" She asked with a suggestive smile, gaze darting between the two.</p>
<p>Takato looked away, absolutely flushed. "...Stargazing." </p>
<p>"I see~?" She hums, leaning in so that she was whispering into his ear. </p>
<p>"Saijou-kun, a word of advice: Maybe you'd want to wear something else to hide your marks the next time you come out to <em>stargaze.</em>" She chuckled and drew away.</p>
<p>Junta looks confused as she waved and left without another word. Noticing Takato looking out of sorts, he pulled the man into his arms. "What did she say?"</p>
<p>"Nothing..." His hand trailed subconsciously to the little marks on his neck. He hadn't even noticed that it was exposed until she spelled it out. Since it had been so dark out here, too, he had thought nobody would see.</p>
<p><em>Ugh</em>... "This is all your fault now that they found out!" He growls with a red face, leaning forward to hit him. This is definitely because Junta was always talking about living together during work!</p>
<p>He'd always leave hints to the other actresses, too, saying they were indeed very <em>close</em>. This idiot angel with his rash behaviour, what if those words he had said turned out to have repercussions?</p>
<p>He zipped his hoodie all the way up to the top and flipped the hood on top of his head, still embarrassed from Kurokawa's comment. As actors, marks were probably the <em>one</em> thing they were most worried about getting on their body, and here he was, having almost forgotten everything about that. </p>
<p>... He blamed Junta for this.</p>
<p>The other man had found it absolutely necessary to leave marks all over him since he had stopped acting, and Takato hadn't exactly covered them since it was just Junta at home most of the time, anyway. </p>
<p>Sighing, he stares after their silhouette, leaning against the other man, feeling a rush of bittersweet emotions surge through him.</p>
<p>... They had all looked so <em>different</em>. Like they had grown up and matured and gained experience over the past three years. Takato had almost been unable to recognize Ryo, too, who looked like a growing star now.</p>
<p>Only their voices had struck out to him.</p>
<p>He stared up at Junta, who had grasped his hand, murmuring that they should go back. He looked <em>different</em> as well, like the others.</p>
<p>"Takato-san?" Junta was pulling gently at his hand. "Is there something wrong?"</p>
<p>"No, I'm..." He looked away, shaking his head.</p>
<p>He was different from all of them now. That was the truth. He wasn't even supposed to be existing here alongside them.... They all looked like they had moved on, different and aged in a good way while he was this... <em>Freak</em> that had long been pronounced dead to the public.</p>
<p>He thought of what Ryo had said. To just tell the reporters that he had been alive all this time.</p>
<p>He wants to return as Saijou Takato, the mega popular actor, of course he does. But what excuse does he have to pretend to stay dead for all these years?</p>
<p>They'd just eventually trace it back to Junta's odd behaviour three years ago and come to a conclusion that something fishy has been going on. </p>
<p>And if he had selfishly proclaimed to the public he was alive, would it affect the other actors and fans? He thought of the people who hated him, the agencies who had once spitefully sworn that they would watch with gloating eyes as he eventually fades out from his popularity.</p>
<p>If he had returned, how would they react? Will he even be <em>wanted</em> back by the public? By the other newer actors?</p>
<p>All the options seemed to be closed off and led to a dead end no matter what he chose. </p>
<p>And even if he had stayed with Junta, their secret might not last long as well.</p>
<p>What will he do then, if everything goes wrong?</p>
<p>He clenched his fingers around his shirt.</p>
<p>"I'm fine..."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. You don't get it, do you?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You seem colder than usual..."</p><p>Junta comments when they had reached their apartment. He reached out to press the back of his palm to Takato's forehead, and begins rubbing the smaller figure's hands against his own, as if to create some friction and warm him. "Did you catch a cold from being at the beach earlier on?"</p><p>"I don't feel cold..." Though Takato previously didn't realise how chilled his skin was, he did now. Junta's hands were extraordinarily warm compared to his own. "I've been feeling quite odd since we got into the car... Maybe I need some sleep." </p><p>"Ah, I'll clean the house while you're at it!" Junta murmurs with a bright smile. "It won't do if Takato-san falls sick because of the environment."</p><p>The sudden sound of Junta's phone vibrating caused both their attention to snap towards the object. Takato noticed that the angel's mood dampened slightly before he handed him his phone.</p><p>"Narumiya-kun?" He stared at the caller's name curiously, letting the line come through before pressing it to his ear. </p><p>He didn't expect the teen to actually call him just a few hours after they had met.</p><p>'<em>Saijou-san!! Sorry, are you busy?'</em></p><p>"Not now." Takato smiled.</p><p>'<em>I just wanted to ask... Am I really not allowed to tell my friends you're still alive? They were really sad when they heard the news, too</em>.'</p><p>Remembering Ryo's friends from the time he had seen them on the beach, Takato guiltily fidgeted. "No... Sorry. Not for now. But you can when I give you the okay." </p><p>'<em>Oh! Okay then</em>!' Ryo still sounded excited. As expected, kids like him are easy to please. There's the sound of chatter from behind them, of all the actors talking on the location bus.</p><p>'<em>You gave us all a scare! The school even had a ceremony presented for you, to commemorate what you've done for our school.</em>'</p><p>Takato forced a smile. "I'm sorry to make you all worry."</p><p>'<em>Nah, I'm sure you had your reasons</em>.' Over the line was a sudden distorted noise, and he heard Ryo asking something incoherent to the other members. '<em>We're reaching soon! Sorry, I have to hang up. Bye!'</em></p><p>"Bye..." Takato sighs as he returns the phone to a confused Junta, who was side-eyeing him in worry. </p><p><em>A ceremony</em>...</p><p>He wondered what the others had done in the period of time he was gone. </p><p>If he go back now... Even if it was under the saying that there was a misreport... It would still feel odd, wouldn't it?</p><p>Everyone would already be <em>over</em> Saijou Takato. He'd be old news, and going back would only cause there to be many questions.</p><p>He could already see the reporters piling up at their house if they did find out he was alive. There would be fans digging for information to find out the truth.</p><p>What will he do then?</p><p>"Takato-san..." Junta pulls him close. "What's wrong? Did Narumiya-kun say something?"</p><p>"Nothing much... He said Shusen academy got together a ceremony for me after the incident. And asked whether he could tell his friends I was okay, since they were upset."</p><p>"A ceremony...?"</p><p>Takato bit his lip, nodding quietly. <em>If they find out, what will they do to me</em>? A person supposedly dead that had come alive... Would he be treated as some lab rat to be experimented on?</p><p>He looked up at Junta, who had been talking on about how he didn't need to worry. His thoughts were loud enough to shut out whatever the person beside him was reassuring him about, causing the words the angel said to sound like hollowed out echoes in Takato's ears.</p><p>He furrowed his eyebrows as he stared hard at Junta, remembering how broken he looked the first time he saw him after the accident.</p><p>... If they find out, what will they do to <em>you</em>? </p><p>He watched as Junta's lips moved despite not knowing how to read lips, his mind blank. Everything seemed to have lost its appeal now, and he was tired.</p><p>"I'm going outside." Takato suddenly spoke up, the words feeling like they had been ripped from his chest, something he wanted to say for a long time. </p><p>Junta had stopped talking. His gaze is on him, like he hadn't expected him to say that.</p><p>Oh. That had been loud.</p><p>"It'll just be a while." He grabbed the keys without even thinking, pulling on the hoodie over his head. "I'll be fine."</p><p>Junta said something but it just didn't register in his head. He needed to get out of here right now. It felt almost suffocating in there thinking about their potential future, and he blanked out to prevent the nasty feeling from welling up in his chest again.</p><p>He takes a careful step outside, mind hazy and full of noisy thoughts. </p><hr/><p>... There's someone following him.</p><p>Takato hasn't been aware at first, worried and head full of thoughts about getting Junta into danger. But after accidentally dropping his phone and descrying a shadowed figure behind him as he picked it up, he suddenly felt nervous.</p><p>Who was the person and what did they want?</p><p>It was still dark outside and there wasn't much people around yet. </p><p>It can't have been the paparazzi, reporters or fans. Who could it be?</p><p>Takato tried calming himself down. He could get out of here if he was quick enough. </p><p>He strode faster through the streets, trying to turn on the GPS signal on his phone, knowing that Junta would get alerted of where he was this way.</p><p>The person following him visibly quickened their step as well, footsteps ringing louder than ever in his ears despite their attempts to walk soundlessly. Takato tried turning corners to where he knew a convenience store was located, but found himself staring dumbly at a dead end from panicking and walking the wrong way. </p><p><em>... Shit</em>.</p><p>
  <em>No, it's alright. He can salvage this.</em>
</p><p>He cautiously opened his bag in what he thought was the most natural way possible, ruffling his hand among his stuff. Where was the pepper spray Junta got him?</p><p>His items made a noisy clinking sound as they bumped against each other in his bag. Takato felt more and more unsettled the longer this went on and he couldn't find it. This just worsened the headache he had and he was starting to break out in cold sweat.</p><p>His hands closed around a cold metal cylinder-shaped bottle. Eyes widening in relief, Takato turns around and pulls out the object.</p><p>The darkened streets were empty except for him. In a distance the streetlamps flickered once in a while, faulty and worn out. </p><p>Takato looked around, hand still pressed in his bag, ready to fish out the spray anytime if anyone decides to jump on him. A long time passed and he was starting to doubt whether it was just a trick played on his mind.</p><p>He peeks out of the dead end he had walked into.</p><p>... Maybe it was just his imagination again...?</p><p>Takato's eyes widened almost too late as he noticed a huge arm come into his vision. The person behind him, with his face obscured with a black hood, had quickly reached forward to force both Takato's hands at his sides, clamping a cloth on his mouth before he could actually call for help.</p><p>"Mmfh!" Struggling wildly, he elbows the masked man behind him, eyes full of fear.</p><p>'<em>You should focus on counterattacks.</em>'</p><p>Realising something, Takato suddenly lurched downwards and bent his knees in an attempt to stabilize himself. The stalker seemed visibly alarmed at the sudden move.</p><p>'<em>Look</em>. <em>Your arms are trapped, but your legs aren't.' Junta pulls tightly at his arms to keep them at his sides. 'In this situation, you should try kicking me.'</em></p><p>
  <em>Takato did as he's told, watching as he let go.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'There!' Junta smiles. 'You should bend your knees a little too if someone is restraining you from behind, so they can't pick you up that easily.'</em>
</p><p>Gritting his teeth, Takato grinds his heel into the little bones of his stalker's foot with all the strength he could currently muster, twisting his foot while at it. The man winced and staggered back, a string of curses escaping his lips.</p><p>Once his arms were freed, Takato then mercilessly gave him a sharp punch to his nose, which caused the stalker's hands to come up to his face as he reeled back in pain.</p><p>Takato was breathing hard by this point.</p><p>His heart felt like it could burst out of his chest. Everything was a blur and he's lightheaded even after the cloth has been removed. Coughing, he grabs onto a nearby streetlamp for support.</p><p>
  <em>The public... He should head to a more public place...</em>
</p><p>"help..." He staggers out onto the street, feeling himself bump into someone. At this point he just felt disoriented and helpless, and anyone at all felt like a saviour.</p><p>He clung onto the clothes of the person, muttering for help over and over. But a glance upwards had him horrified as he found himself staring at more men wearing an identical hood. They had all begun rounding up against him, holding weapons too.</p><p><em>This is bad</em>.</p><p>The men were pressing the cloth back on his face again. It felt foreign, unlike the time Junta had scared him and pretended to be the groper. Their hands were cold and rough as they forced him to be still.</p><p>He felt faint the more he panicked. Movements slowing, he tried thinking but it suddenly became difficult, and abruptly he forgot why he was panicking in the first place... Everything just felt light and he was tired.</p><p>"Got you, Saijou Takato~" The man holding him murmurs in his ear, the last of what he hears before he loses consciousness.</p><p>The bottle of pepper spray Junta had gotten him drops and clinks loudly on the floor before rolling away from him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>at this point we don't know whether it should be a bad ending or good ending... XD pls help</p><p>(also, very original plot of kidnapping, I know.)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. I know that you treasure him.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The splash of cold water was what woke Takato up.</p><p>Alarmed, the actor had jolted up in his seat, disoriented and his head still throbbing. He tries moving a hand to his head to alleviate the dizziness but finds that they're tied to his back on the chair.</p><p>"Look who's finally awake~" the man in front of him sing-songed as he pulled off his shades and hoodie. Droplets still falling from his hair, Takato struggles to blink, feeling thirsty and tired. His lips are parched and he stared up at the people in front of him with groggy, unfocused eyes.</p><p>If anything, the person in front of him looked kind of familiar, but Takato couldn't exactly pinpoint why.</p><p>"I can't believe this..." Placing a meaty hand below Takato's chin, he then propped his face up so that he was staring at the actor properly. He had a greedy look which matched his grotesque, scarred face, and the toothy grin he was making disgusted him entirely. </p><p>"So it's true... That Saijou Takato is still alive after the accident." He begun slowly stroking his face with his huge, sweaty hands. Takato scrunched up his face, unable to move from the ropes tying him to the chair.</p><p>"Who <em>are</em> you?" He sputtered, trying to sound brave despite only being able to croak out his words. </p><p>"Oh my, is that any way to talk to my men?" A familiar voice rung out. Takato's eyes widened as he notices a figure coming towards him, a disturbing smile on his face.</p><p>Without warning, Fumio then slaps him across the face, causing Takato's head to be swept to the side. He winced, head pierced with a sharp jab of pain that came along with the sudden movement.</p><p>"It's you..." Takato utters with wet bangs fallen messily across his face. He grits his teeth in pain as Fumio grabs him by his tousled hair and pulls him up to glare at him.</p><p>"Thanks to you, things around here got nasty. You won't believe how happy I was when I heard you died, since it's just about what you deserved."</p><p>He released the fistful of hair he's holding, stroking his chin in a slow, almost loving motion. "But guess what? I heard my men say that they spotted you the other day. Can you believe it? Someone who was supposed to be dead being spotted with a <em>bunch</em> of other actors! What a story it must have been." He pats Takato's face roughly. "So I decided I wanted to see you for myself."</p><p>Takato shrunk back as he was let go. "What do you want from me?"</p><p>"Oh, nothing much~ Look, we even have your bag ready! You can go back anytime you want like nothing happened. But." He paused, smiling again. "That's after Azumaya Junta agrees to doing whatever we say in exchange for you to be free."</p><p>"What?" Takato could hardly breathe.</p><p>"He would come, right? Both of you are lovers, after all. But if he doesn't, that's fine too. The videos we produce with someone supposedly dead would garner as much views." </p><p>He leans closer.</p><p>"Isn't that just fair? You ruined all of us. This is just what you <em>deserved</em>." He laughed shortly. "And besides ..." He raises Takato's chin. "Did you <em>really</em> think you could have gotten away with what you did to my Knight?"</p><p>Pulling out his phone, Fumio then begins dialling a number, putting it to his ear. The crowd murmurs and giggles to themselves time to time at the back as they watched him converse. </p><p>Takato furrowed his eyebrows. What could he do in this type of situation? He looked around for anything that could potentially break him out of the ropes, but there was nothing in this place that resembled a deserted warehouse.</p><p>Fumio's phone was suddenly put on speaker mode. </p><p>'<em>What did you do to Takato-san</em>?' The line sounded distorted, but it was Junta's voice alright.</p><p>"I wonder what we can do to him..." He laughs. "Huh... what do you think will happen if we strip him and put him on display for the world to see, Azumaya-kun?"</p><p>Takato's eyes widened. <em>Tell me you're not serious right now... </em></p><p>"Oi. He says he wants to speak to you." The phone was pressed up at his face all of a sudden. The man holding it looks smug as he holds it out to Takato, as if daring him to answer. </p><p>'<em>Takato-san??? Are you okay</em>?'</p><p>Takato pursed his lips.</p><p>... If he doesn't speak, would Junta eventually think that he's not there? This way... This way, he wouldn't put himself into unnecessary danger. </p><p>'<em>Takato-san</em>?'</p><p>He's originally supposed to be dead after all. If he dies here so Junta can be safe... </p><p>"Oi! Speak up!" One of the men kicks the chair and Takato keeps his mouth shut as the chair he was in fell to the floor, bringing him with it.</p><p>"Playing tough, huh?" The gang closes in on him. Immediately, a muscular-looking man had kicked him hard in the leg, causing Takato to cry out in pain. He doubled over, trembling and legs screaming out in agony. </p><p>"You heard that?" Fumio murmurs back to the person on the line, who had grown very quiet. "You have 48 hours. Any later than that, and your boyfriend would be no more." </p><p>"Chunta!" Takato yelled out, his voice strained and broken, "Don't come!"</p><p>The man had already hung up the call. He begins laughing, and suddenly the crowd was laughing as well, a bunch of condescending looks mocking him as Fumio waved the phone in front of his face.</p><p>"Don't think you can try anything smart now. My men have their eye on you." </p><p>Takato lowered his gaze, biting his lip as Fumio walked away. </p>
<hr/><p>The day passed by quickly with some of the members coming to feed him the minimal scraps of food and water. They seemed like leftovers that he would have normally gobbled up, given how hungry he was right now, but Takato just didn't feel like eating.</p><p>He's quickly cast away at a corner as the men begun a drinking session at midnight. </p><p>They had ceased watching him since it was boring to do that all the time, but kept him at a place they could easily see if Takato had disappeared somehow.</p><p>"Pretty boy~" a man waltzed over with a bottled drink in hand. He's swaying, very obviously drunk. Takato recognised him as someone that had been staring at him for quite a while now ever since he had been here. "Wanna drink?" </p><p>The place smelled foul with everyone being so sweaty and drunk. Takato scrunched up his nose and shook his head, but the man didn't seem to take no for an answer.</p><p>He cautiously placed one hand on his lap, and Takato fidgeted uncomfortably as the man pawed his way up his body, poking him like it would change his mind. "Relax. Just one drink, okay?" He slurs, pressing the opening of the bottle to his lips. "Open your mouth~~"</p><p>Weakly, Takato turns his face to the side. He felt sluggish and it hurt to even react to the situation in front of him. </p><p>The contents of the wine bottle swirls violently with how forceful he's trying to get him to drink while Takato continuously turns his head away.</p><p>With a sudden slip of his fingers, the wine bottle drops to the ground and shatters, causing the man to draw back with a sneer on his face. </p><p>He seemed no longer pleased. </p><p>"Playing hard to get? That's fine with me. I'm sure your boyfriend isn't coming anyway." He chuckles and hiccups. "I'm going to go first once the video starts."</p><p>"What video?" Takato whispers, terrified.</p><p>"Looking forward to it already? You'll know soon." He squeezes Takato's thigh before drawing away. The actor whimpered, feeling immensely uncomfortable. At this point he just wanted to get out for some fresh air. </p><p>His bows his head down once more when company was gone. Gaze catching on the glass shards on the floor that were previously from the wine bottle, Takato perked up.</p><p>Immediately, a pulse of adrenaline rushes through him as he took into consideration what he could do with those. </p><p>
  <em>... Maybe he'd even get out on his own! And Junta wouldn't even have to be involved. </em>
</p><p>He stared hard at the glass pieces, then at the men still drinking. All he had to do now was wait for the right time.</p>
<hr/><p>It didn't take long before the warehouse was filled with snoring noises from the members, who were laying all over the place. The lights were switched off and it was pitch dark, but that was probably an advantage to him if they couldn't see him.</p><p>Takato bit his lip, heart pounding, and cautiously scoots closer to where the nearest shard was, hoping the bulky screech of him shifting the chair wouldn't wake them.</p><p>Pushing his body weight to his side, Takato's head spun momentarily as his chair landed on the floor, bringing him with it. A few glass shards cut into his skin and his eyes stung, but Takato swallowed hard and kept quiet.</p><p>
  <em>If this works... If this works, he might just make it out alive.</em>
</p><p>Quickly, he reaches out as far as he can go for a piece of glass shard, repeatedly brushing it against the ropes tied on his hands.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. I know what you want to tell me. I understand perfectly.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We all need some badass Takato in our lives</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The ropes had thinned and broke apart after the longest time of Takato struggling to cut it.</p>
<p>Realising that it had indeed worked, the actor then snapped up in attention, looking around to make sure nobody saw. His heart was pounding in his head as he surveyed the faces of the members snoring on the ground -- they had likely not heard anything at all. </p>
<p>Takato quickly pulls the ropes off of his bruised wrists, flexing his hand a little to get rid of the burning sensation from when the rope rubbed roughly against his hand. He cautiously slipped one end of the rope under those tying his legs up, brushing it repeatedly from side to side, causing it to then break apart with friction.</p>
<p><em>It had worked</em>. Just like how Junta showed him.</p>
<p>He wobbled a leg, then another, both soundlessly so as to make sure they were free from the chair. The last thing he wanted was to stand and start dragging the chair with uncut ropes still tied to his feet.</p>
<p>Shakily, Takato then stood. </p>
<p>The constant dizziness made it hard to move. Everything in his body felt uncoordinated as he stumbled towards the general direction of his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. He fished out the pepper spray and righted himself, biting his lip as he fought back an anxious thought that any one of them could wake any moment now.</p>
<p><em>Everything is going to be fine. </em>He inched towards the door in tip-toes, a rush of relief bubbling in his chest as he found it unlocked. <em>He could call Junta once he got out</em>. Gingerly, Takato moved outside the place he was in, closing the door very carefully before locking them all inside the vast room.</p>
<p>He needed a weapon. The pepper spray was not good enough... maybe he could get something that could deal damage but also be nothing too threatening?</p>
<p>He kept his head down as he walked quickly around the place, eyes widening when he noticed a seemingly empty surveillance room. Those meant to be watching these cameras must have left to join the drinking party last night...</p>
<p>Takato hid himself, closing the door from the inside. From the cameras he could see that there was movement inside of the room he was previously kept in -- someone was starting to shake the others awake.</p>
<p>There's a loud rattling sound of the men trying to open the locked door. It seemed that they'd finally noticed he was gone. Takato inhaled shakily, pressing the bottle of his only hope at self-defense against his chest.</p>
<p>A few more minutes passed by until the door was burst open. The men scattered out, all looking quite panicky as they split ways to find him. Takato could see from the cameras that most of the men went straight for the route that led to the outside world, and a few came to snoop at the other rooms. Fumio had appeared, looking quite frustrated, yelling at his mens' incompetency.</p>
<p>Silence then followed as they tried to find out where he went. </p>
<p>The knob to the surveillance room was suddenly twisted, and before he knew it, Fumio himself had came in to check on whether there was anyone here. He dubiously looked around, not spotting Takato who was hiding behind the door, pressed flat against the wall.</p>
<p>The actor crept behind him. Just as he thinks he's got the upper hand, Fumio abruptly turns around, eyes threatening and bloodshot. </p>
<p>He's fast, but not fast enough. Before the other man could lay a finger on him, Takato had pressed down hard on the actuator of the pepper spray, practically emptying his bottle on Fumio's eyes. The other man shrieked, hands flailing to his face. </p>
<p>His knife drops on the ground with a sharp clink as he falls back on one of the visual screens.</p>
<p>The actor then reached out with his dominant hand, flexing his wrist before aiming an open palm straight at his throat. He jabbed upwards, feeling Fumio stagger back while still coughing. </p>
<p>
  <em>That'd distract him for a while.</em>
</p>
<p>Takato stumbles out of the room, stopping himself short as he takes in the sight in front of him.</p>
<p>The corridor was filled with men laying unconscious on the ground, and in a distance he could hear the sound of someone's dull growls of pain. </p>
<p><em>... What</em>? </p>
<p>He dubiously stared at the mess of men on the ground.</p>
<p>There's more footsteps coming towards his way. Takato grips his pepper spray harder, ready to use it, almost crushing it underneath his shaking grasp. </p>
<p>Before they could reach Takato, though, he heard them all cry out in shock. The first man had winced, the second being cut short of his pleas, and the third going down without even a fight. </p>
<p>The corridor was suddenly quiet, and Takato could hear that the person was starting to walk towards his direction again, probably to check whether they had left anyone behind.</p>
<p>He crouched at the corner of the wall. This was no doubt the place he would have to go through in order to get out, but if there was someone else camping there... He'd have to be careful. Even if it was the police coming to save him, he might not be spared and could be taken to be another gang member. </p>
<p>He inhales carefully as he hears the footsteps closing up on him. Takato raised his pepper spray, determined.</p>
<p>Once the person got close enough, he'd be able to stun them, depending on whether they were on his side or not. </p>
<p>He stood as the figure turned the corner and faced him. Takato shoved his pepper spray in that person's face, just as the other had threateningly raised a knife to his throat. But they had both froze in place. </p>
<p>Because in front of him was a figure that looked more familiar than it ever could be. Those blonde locks and golden eyes--</p>
<p>"<em>Chunta</em>?"</p>
<p>"Takato-san!" </p>
<p>The other man immediately leaned forward to crush him in an embrace before he could afford another word. He looked relieved, stroking Takato's cheek. </p>
<p>"Let's get out of here."</p>
<p>Takato nodded firmly. Noticing the other crouching down slightly, he then gets on Junta's back for a piggyride.</p>
<p>Takato gazed at the other man, looking him over. He seemed to have gotten a small cut at the side of his arm, but that was all. Takato didn't see any blood or wounds anywhere else. </p>
<p>
  <em>He's fine. That's good...</em>
</p>
<p>He allows his chin to lean against Junta's shoulder. It felt tiring to stay awake, especially with how easy it was to sleep now. </p>
<p>Takato tried fighting against it. He remembered something Chunta said... That he shouldn't close his eyes if he was in this kind of situation. But with the other man fine, he supposed it would all turn out alright. </p>
<p>He lolls his head to the side, shutting his eyes and letting darkness take over.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"Don't worry. We're almost there." Junta huffs, quickly rushing out of the building. On the floor were the unconscious men whom he had knocked out previously, but he found himself uncaring for their plight in the slightest. He had called the cops too, explaining to them the situation. So all he had to do now was get Takato out safely. </p>
<p>That's strange. He could've sworn it's been a while since he heard Takato speak.</p>
<p>"Takato-san...?" Realising that he was not getting a reply, Junta begun to panic. He shrugged the figure on top of him, trying to shake him awake, even tried patting his face gently. "What's wrong? Takato-san??"</p>
<p>Dread pummeling within him, Junta rushes back to the car as fast as he possibly could. Ayagi was already there waiting for him, quickly opening the door as he noticed him coming to the seluded spot they hid their car. </p>
<p>"Great. He's back." Ayagi stared at the figure, gaze lingering a moment longer before he furrowed his eyebrows. "... Why does he <em>look</em> like that?"</p>
<p>Junta cautiously sets him down at the back of the car. "He's unconscious." He begins to sweat. "It's okay. It's okay, I just need to nurse him back to health when we get back."</p>
<p>He gritted his teeth once he noticed that the other man was still staring at Takato. "What are you waiting for? Start the car, Ayagi!"</p>
<p>"No..." Ayagi stared dubiously at him. That look made Junta's mouth go dry. He watched with trepidation as Ayagi reached out to touch Takato's hand, his expression changing as he felt how ice cold he was. Junta wants to slap his hand away so badly.</p>
<p>"He kinda reminds me of... the first time you brought me to see him..."</p>
<p>"NO!" Junta's eyes widened. He refused to even <em>think</em> about it. His chilled skin, feeling odd all the time, they were all nothing but because Takato was prone to illnesses and colds in the first place. He knew Takato better than everyone <em>and</em> anyone else.</p>
<p>Junta's breathing hard at this point, staring at the smaller figure slumped against him. "He's fine. Everything is going to be fine."</p>
<p>"We need to go to the hospital."</p>
<p>"We CAN'T, Ayagi! Listen to me!" Junta was starting to shake, grabbing fistfuls of Ayagi's shirt and yanking him forward. "I can bring him back to the lab. I could..."</p>
<p>"What? Use your magical blue <em>goo</em> on him?" Ayagi looked disturbed. "He's still breathing. If anything, the people at the hospital would know how to deal with his situation."</p>
<p>"We can't go!"</p>
<p>"We don't <em>have</em> a choice!" Ayagi yelled. "I'm going to drive. Just... Keep him warm for the time being."</p>
<p>The car rumbles into life as Ayagi starts the engine, and Junta felt his face pale of colour as he pulls an unresponsive Takato closer into his grasp.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. I would give everything to you.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"We've reached." Ayagi heaved a sigh of relief as he stops the car. He looked to the back of the vehicle, noticing how everything felt tense. Junta was very unlike himself again, his expression one that was defensive as he held Takato in his arms.</p><p>"Oi, bring him in. We don't have much time."</p><p>Junta is still stroking Takato's cheek carefully. He looked ready to argue, but they were already in front of the hospital, too. Not going in would just mean time wasted on coming here.</p><p>Looking conflicted, he pulls the other close to him and covers him in a jacket, almost like how it was during the first drama series they had starred in together, when Takato had gotten a fever.</p><p>Junta then very carefully carries him up bridal style, stepping out of the car.</p><p>Ayagi watched as he made his way in, craning his neck to eye him until their silhouettes have disappeared. He drove off to find a parking spot, feeling a sudden surge of anxiety until he stops the car. Grabbing both Junta and Takato's bags, he rushed inside.</p><p>It was obviously brighter in here with the hospital lights, and Ayagi's eyes strained with the contrast from how dark it was previously outside. </p><p>There's a doctor speaking to the angel in a hushed tone. After a moment, he had then allowed the actor to get in, and noticing this, Ayagi followed keenly behind him, closing the door and setting the bags down on a nearby table.</p><p>Making sure to keep his voice down, he turned to Junta.</p><p>"What did he say?" He asked out of genuine curiosity.</p><p>Junta looks defeated as he stares at Takato's unconscious figure on the hospital bed.</p><p>"... He said that there's nothing they can do about his situation." He sounded forlorn and tired. </p><p>"<em>What</em>?"</p><p>"They've checked him, and his bodily functions are fine. In fact, he seems abnormally healthy for someone who has once been in an accident and broken both legs, too. They can't pinpoint a problem with him for the time being."</p><p>
  <em>What about how strangely chilly his skin felt? And how he had passed out? That couldn't have happened without a reason.... Right?</em>
</p><p>"How is that even possible?" Ayagi instantaneously felt dumb for asking that -- he had witnessed this man in front of him resurrect Takato. Nothing should faze him by this point.</p><p>He stared at the Takato in front of him, who was cold and pale, taking in shallow breaths. Everything just felt very wrong.</p><p>It had been bad enough when Junta brought Takato back from... whatever was left of him after the accident.</p><p>Ayagi had seen through countless days of Junta just silently helping the unconscious man, who had at first looked <em>so</em> sick he didn't even seem humane. He had this ghastly white figure and a poor excuse for skin stretched over his frame.</p><p>He had then sat through months of Takato's recovery, being there when the man had first woken up, ate his first meal, and he had watched as Takato slowly regained the colour in his cheeks. He had also been there when the actor begun to smile again, and taunt him, making crude remarks.</p><p>So to see all this drained from Takato once again made Ayagi feel sick. He wasn't <em>ready</em> to part with his senpai once more, and he wasn't even sure if Junta was capable of doing the resurrection move twice.</p><p>Even if he did... Would Takato eventually just revert back to the original state he was in? To how he is now?</p><p>If even the doctors couldn't do anything... Then...</p><p>"So that means... Anything can happen to him?"</p><p>Junta didn't acknowledge that. Ayagi sighed, trying to ease the headache he was getting.</p><p>All this oddly reminded him of the time they had came to the hospital. The last time he felt goosebumps crawl up his skin like that was when he was rushing to see Takato after the accident, the Takato that didn't make it.</p><p>He swallowed uncomfortably, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat.</p><p>"He's going to be fine." Ayagi very awkwardly pats Junta's back, though he wasn't even sure of it himself. The other man looked like he was stationary, staring straight ahead at Takato, like he could see nothing else.</p><p>"I should have never let him leave my sight." He mutters, his words so soft and clenched with guilt, as though it was meant for himself to hear.</p><p>"Did <em>you</em> let him leave your sight?" Ayagi questioned instead. "From what I know, you've been stalking him ever since he went outside. How else could you call and holler for me to come over so quickly if you hadn't witnessed the kidnapping?"</p><p>Junta's eyes looked tired. He doesn't even speak back anymore, and Ayagi felt a twinge of guilt poke at his chest. <em>Was it something he said again? Maybe he should leave him alone?</em></p><p>"I'll... Go get you both a hot chocolate." He mumbled, very carefully excusing himself out of the room. </p><p>... There's a few patients outside staring at him, gawking at his presence as they sat down awaiting for their turn. They must have witnessed Junta carrying Takato in, since some were looking alarmed the actors suddenly appearing in the hospital. But they remained humane enough to not whip out their phones and take photos, and quickly looked away when Ayagi walked past them.</p><p>He doesn't really know how to feel about all these right now. </p><p>
  <em>Honestly, why the hell was he taking everything so seriously? This was unlike his laidback character at all.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And besides, it wasn't as if he cared about that guy's feelings anyway.</em>
</p><p>Unable to shake the unsettling feeling off of him, Ayagi clicked his tongue and strode outside, frustrated.</p>
<hr/><p>Knowing that Junta needed his own personal time with Takato, Ayagi seemed to have left him alone and didn't return for quite a bit of time.</p><p>Junta spent that time clasping Takato's hand in his own, trying not to think about what the doctors said.</p><p>Takato never did like dwelling on miserable sob stories. He was always so admirable, never letting anyone get him down like that... Seeing Junta a mess now would only make him upset <em>when</em> he woke up.</p><p>So he smiled, a wobbly one, but still a smile regardless. The little beeping noises from the heart rate monitor helped distract him from the fact that nobody could actually save Takato if anything happened to him now. </p><p>"Takato-san... Do you remember?</p><p>"You told me that your grandmother used to bring you to recitals. And your favourite was "<em>Heart</em>" - the first one she brought you to. Because that was what brought you into the acting industry.</p><p>"It was special to both you and her. You'd recite it to her when you got to see her. And you told me, that because she was someone you respected very much, she was an important person... to you."</p><p>He very carefully reached into his bag for the right item.</p><p>"Well... <em>You're</em> my important person. <em>You</em> helped me become best actor. <em>You</em> <em>changed</em> me." He chuckles, pulling out the script from his bag, trying his best to look cheery and angelic. "So I brought this. <em>Taiyou no Kobin</em>... Our very first drama. Isn't that nostalgic?" </p><p>The room was silent lest for the beeping sounds from the heart rate monitor.</p><p>Junta blinked hard, pursing his lips. "Won't you recite it with me?" He flipped to a random page. </p><p>"Look, this part! It's my favourite of the series. I shielded you from the rain that time, but I suppose you won't remember small stuff like that..."</p><p>He laughs as he stops on one. "And, and here's the line where you berated me in the location bus, saying that I could do much better." He ran his eyes over the slightly yellowed pages, leafing his hands through the script that he had memorised to heart. "We could renact that!"</p><p>He still remembered those instances like it were yesterday.</p><p>It was the first time someone taught him how it was like to <em>want</em> to treasure something. </p><p>Without even knowing, Takato had given him the determination to want to be happy.</p><p>And he isn't ready to give it up without a fight.</p><p>Pulling a chair, Junta sits down beside Takato's hospital bed, trying to calm himself down. He shuts his eyes and breathes in slowly before starting to read.</p><p>'I like him. That's why I'm with him.'</p><p>
  <em>On that day, my heart </em>
</p><p>'But eventually, he won't be able to see you or your works anymore...'</p><p>
  <em>... Danced. </em>
</p><p>'Even if he can't see... Even if he can't see, he'd know by touch.'</p><p>
  <em>It was as though everything changed -- </em>
</p><p>'He would sense me through scent.'</p><p>
  <em>And I never understood</em>
</p><p>'Choose me.'</p><p>
  <em>how you could sway my feelings around so easily like that.</em>
</p><p>'Kousuke, let's stop talking about this.'</p><p>
  <em>Despite us being so different, </em>
</p><p>'Be mine.'</p><p>
  <em>You were the one who broke me out of my glass cell,</em>
</p><p>'I'll look at you, just like how I have all this time.'</p><p>
  <em>Making me feel emotions originally long denied by my own caged self.</em>
</p><p>He clenched the script book in his hands, forcing a smile. </p><p>He <em>had</em> to continue. He had to continue for Takato's stake. Junta flipped to the next page, raising a hand to roughly brush at his face, trying to get rid of the miserable teardrops manifesting on his face.</p><p>"That was horrible."</p><p>A flat voice was suddenly emitted, the matter-of-fact tone giving away who it was.</p><p>Junta snapped up, eyes wide.</p><p>"When I told you to use emotion, I didn't mean reciting your lines like <em>this</em>." Takato looks at him sternly. With an almost taunting chuckle, he shuts his eyes. "So much for being Best Actor."</p><p>Junta stared at him in shock.</p><p>"<em>Takato</em>-san!"</p><p>Without warning, his body moved, and he had found himself embracing Takato with such ferocity it knocked the other actor back despite him trying to sit up. </p><p>Takato winced but said little else, smiling softly. He cautiously brought a hand up to reciprocate the action of hugging him.</p><p>"Idiot... Didn't I tell you I'd stay by your side?" He hums, raising a small, cold hand to brush at his face.</p><p>"I'm still here." He whispered, a promise.</p><p>More tears only welled up in Junta's eyes after hearing that statement. He clung to his shirt, weeping unceasingly, and Takato merely held him in silence. </p><p>They stayed that way for a long, long time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. I'm in love with you.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I can't believe you still kept this..." Takato regarded the script Junta had in his hands. How many years had it been since they did that drama? Three, four years? Some of the pages looked like they were loose and could fall out of the script book anytime, evidence of how Junta flipped through it regularly. </p><p>"It's important after all - if it wasn't for this drama, I wouldn't have gotten to know about Takato-san."</p><p>The said man manages a small smile. Junta never ceased to make him feel ridiculously important, and at first, he would admit, he didn't even know if the other actually meant it with how much sugarcoating actors always did.</p><p>Just as he opened his mouth to speak, the door bursts open and a nervous Ayagi fled inside, quickly closing the door behind him as he did so. He could hear a loud commotion stirring outside, and it didn't sound like good news.</p><p>"What's wrong?" Takato self-consciously straightened himself. Ayagi seemed relieved that he had woken up, but turned to Junta with a serious look. </p><p>"There's a bunch of fans and reporters outside the hospital now, demanding to be let in." He mutters. "The hospital staff are stopping them."</p><p>Junta raised an eyebrow, about to ask when Ayagi continued.</p><p>"I think it's the work of those outside there - one of them posted a story on social media saying they saw you carry an unknown figure here."</p><p>"<em>What</em>?" Takato shrunk back visibly. "Did they get any pictures?"</p><p>"A blur one... But you can obviously tell it's him." Ayagi raised a hand to the back of his head, scratching his scalp in frustration. </p><p>Takato let his hands drop to his sides in defeat. Just as he's about to think that things are getting better, <em>this</em> happens. Just how bad was his luck?</p><p>"What do we do now?" He mutters, suddenly restless. "I can't go out like this."</p><p>"I've arranged to let Takato-san stay here for a few days." Junta murmurs, reaching out to gently try grasping at Takato's hand and maybe interlock their fingers. "It'll be okay. They won't be camping here for long."</p><p>The actor drew away, and Junta looks up at him, alarmed.</p><p>"How <em>long</em> are we going to avoid them?" Takato shut his eyes, vexed and tired. The very thought of reporters pestering both Junta and Ayagi made him feel ill. It was enough that <em>he</em> had to stay cooped in, but if the both of them had to go through the same treatment, how would they even continue with their daily routine?</p><p>"At this point, I'm not even sure if you bringing me back was the right choice." Takato mumbled. "I've brought you nothing but trouble."</p><p>"Takato-san..."</p><p>The actor pulls the blankets over himself like it was a protective cocoon, laying on his side.</p><p>"Both of you should go out. Cool down and think about yourselves." He wanted to add that he would be fine, but he isn't sure he could manage another promise.</p><p>Junta slowly nodded despite looking immensely worried. "Call me if you need anything." He sets down his phone with the white phone case on his bedside table.</p><p>After exchanging a wry look with Ayagi, Junta then exited the room as a sign that he respected Takato's choice to be left alone. Ayagi sets down the old script books he had been carrying in a big sling bag, along with some hot chocolate.</p><p>"This is from that guy. He said it's for in case you get bored." Even his voice was smaller than usual, realizing that Takato was not being his usual self. </p><p>As he heard the door click closed, Takato peeked out of the blankets, sighing as he sat up.</p><p>... If going out for even just one moment can cause him to be kidnapped, will it happen again? How many more times will he have to be held hostage by the people astonished by him living?</p><p>It's fine if it only concerns him. But now that things have dragged Junta into the picture, they've started harrassing Junta too.</p><p>And things will actually never be the same from now on.</p><p>Takato pressed his face into his hands, feeling awful. He wanted Junta by his side but simultaneously, he knew of how this problem would only cause more trouble for him. </p><p>If only there was a way to let them be able to live their lives normally. A way to erase the fact that he had died whilst also preventing the fans from being suspicious that he was lying...</p><p>Shifting to get a glass of water, Takato pauses as his eye caught on the phone left on the table. Silently he reached to curl his fingers around the device, pulling it towards himself with genuine curiosity.</p><p>It unlocked easily as he pressed his fingerprint on the sensor. <em>That's strange</em> ... He doesn't remember authenticating this. </p><p>The phone's background was a screenshot of the work schedule for Junta that was dated to be from three years ago.  Besides from that, everything else was minimalistic and simple, and even the gallery was strangely empty. </p><p>His phone seemed to be free from notifications. Takato tapped inside his chat logs without much thought, surprised to see many unread messages. Junta must have cleared away the notifications to put off from replying. </p><p>Many actors had sent messages in hope to know if he was doing well, undoubtedly after the period of time that Takato had gotten into the accident. </p><p>The last visible notification was from Ayagi, who had called him and spammed him messages, asking if he was free for a drink. Thereafter, Junta had sent several messages telling him to come over to take care of Takato, which Ayagi merely replied with an 'OK' hand sign.</p><p>"This was the phone he used strictly for work, huh..." He mumbles to himself, setting it aside, this time grabbing the bunch of old script books towards himself, hoping it would distract him. </p><p>Apart from Taiyou no Kobin, there were also scripts of Majo no Shizuku, Mahiro no Hoshi, Blood Wedding, and Kouyouki that he recognized. </p><p>A few smaller script books were also piled in there, undeniably dramas Junta had starred in during the one year he had begun his rise to fame. Takato had seen the drama covers before but never really got that much into reading the scripts, since he wasn't in them anyway. </p><p>He briefly fanned through them, noticing how Junta had highlighted his own lines in the script for better reference. The other actor also seemed to have written a few small notes in there to remind himself of things.</p><p>
  <em>... Hm... That's new. He's never actually seen Junta do that. </em>
</p><p>Turning the page, he saw another note on the script beside his highlighted lines. This time though, instead of little reminders Junta had made regarding the character or scene, there was a name written near the line: a faint scribble of the kanji "高人さん". </p><p>... That was weird. </p><p>What did that even symbolise? </p><p>He read the highlighted lines where the note was placed. </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>There is so much to admire, but your raw honesty is the best part. Despite your strict demeanor, it's as if your words have a force behind them - bearing a determination that's also observant and patient. And in your attitude I find a wonderful awareness of the vulnerability of others, the sort that is born from painful experience.</p>
</blockquote><p>"Don't think that just a few charming phrases are going to win me over." Takato mutters. "I'm not that cheap."</p><p>But as he ran his eyes along the lines again, he felt his face grow hot. If the angel had written his name beside this particular part of the script... Does that mean it reminded Junta of him? </p><p>He remembered seeing glimpses of Junta during his Kouyouki stage play. It was a heavy burden -- to feel emotionally attached to someone like that. Where suddenly after some time, it wasn't just about <em>him</em>, but <em>them</em>.</p><p>Realising that he had once again pushed Junta away, Takato bit his lip in guilt. He reached out to brush his hand against the small note, looking through the hidden confession once more.</p><p>The little 高人さん made him smile.</p><p>He quickly composes himself, though, as he heard a knock on the door. Placing the script aside, Takato tried looking as normal as he could possibly be, grabbing a glass of water and nervously sipping on it. </p><p>Junta peeked in slowly. "It's dinnertime, so I suppose you must be hungry." Without hearing any objections, he then brought in a tiffin carrier.</p><p>Behind him, Takato could see a glimpse of Ayagi who stayed by the door.</p><p>"I got you Prosciutto and some stew, since you always had an appetite for those." He murmurs softly, setting up the mini table in front of his bed. "We can eat together, if you like..." </p><p>"Chunta." He waits until the man was looking at him before he smiled faintly. "... Start a meeting with the reporters."</p><p>"What?" The amount of confusion on Junta's face only made Takato even more sure of his decision. </p><p>He would protect them both, no matter what it takes in his own way. If there's a method which might cause them to be able to return to being able to live their own lives... then he would try it. </p><p>"There's something I would like them to know."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. I can't wait. I've waited long enough.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The crowd of reporters sit in the place of the audience, all of which silent lest for the slight burst of murmurs between their own people. Everyone had their gaze on Junta, tablets and laptops readied away as they waited for him to start the meeting proper. They seem calm for people who would harrass actors on a daily basis just to get information for a living.</p><p>And in the centre of the stage sits Takato, who is hiding his face in a hood. The reporters seemed to have a hunch of who he is but dared not discuss openly or ask any questions before the meeting started, afraid of sounding potentially offending.</p><p>"It seems that everyone has arrived. So let's begin."</p><p>Junta carefully clasps Takato's hand beneath the table, squeezing it. He looked just as confused for the purpose of the meeting, watching him in worry as Takato stood. </p><p>Without a word, the actor then pulls the hood off of himself, causing many of the reporters to freeze in shock as he shows his face. They didn't seem to be ready for the reveal of Takato himself. </p><p>Almost immediately after, though, they composed themselves and begun to snap photos crazily. </p><p>"As the fans have been speculating, I am alive." Takato declared through the mic. "That might be hard to believe after the fuss from three years ago. But allow me to explain myself."</p><p>He noticed Junta's expression and paused. The other man looked pale, like he had not expected that. But his expression grew defensive as he gently pulled at Takato's hand, telling him he was ready to protect and support him.</p><p>He took in a deep breath. He could pull this off if he sounded convincing enough.</p><p>He <em>could</em> do this.</p><p>"At that time, my death had been a hoax. The hospital members know of this and so did some of my closer acting colleagues." He looked towards Junta, who immediately nodded despite not knowing of his plan to say that. He gratefully continued. "So to say, I faked my death."</p><p>"And why is that?" A female reporter sitting at the front row asked. "Saijou-san is successful and popular. You don't have a reason to fake your death for any of these reasons, do you?"</p><p>The other reporters also looked confused, paused in their typing. Those recording looked towards him, expectant of a good reply.</p><p>
  <em>There it is. The important question.</em>
</p><p>Takato merely beamed at her, causing the woman to quickly look away, starting to blush, breaking from her stoic and professional character momentarily. </p><p>"That's true. That's why I faked my death not for either of these reasons, but for <em>him</em>."</p><p>Junta's eyes widened as Takato turns to him, immediately thrusting the other actor into the spotlight. </p><p>"The speculation about our relationship is true, we have been together for quite a while now. But we know of the disapproval we would face if we openly announced it.</p><p>... So I made a selfish decision."</p><p>"That's... Understandable as an actor..." The reporter who questioned him mumbled, typing away on her laptop. </p><p>"And, since the fans have seemed to realise I am alive, I suppose I can't hide it for long."</p><p>A couple of understanding nods answered his statement. There are a few murmurs, but a male reporter eventually spoke up.</p><p>"... Saijou Takato and Azumaya Junta? Two of the most desirable men coming out as lovers, despite having tons of female fans and colleagues around them? Somehow, that's hard to believe..."</p><p>Before Junta could speak up to defend their relationship, though, a voice rung out from the door. </p><p>"Not at all." Ayagi swings open the door, bringing a fleet of actors with him. "Many of the actors are actually aware of this long ago."</p><p>Takato gapes slightly, surprised at this sudden turn in events. He had not asked Ayagi for any favours, so he wasn't expecting him to turn up. Even Junta looked confused and glanced up at Takato, as if asking if he was the one up to this.</p><p>"That's true. Azumaya-kun and Saijou-chan have been hinting at their relationship for a while now." </p><p>"What is this situation? Other actors have suddenly arrived?!" The reporters, who were originally calm, ran up to the group of actors for information when they arrived. At this point, with how chaotic the scene got, they were practically shoving their mics in their faces.</p><p>This would probably be the biggest scoop for a while, and Takato didn't blame them. </p><p>"I'll go first in explaining, since I've seen them show affection to each other firsthand." Kurokawa Yurie stood out. The other actors begun speaking individuallly about their own experiences of seeing the two most desirable men flirting as well, causing Takato to look on in faint amusement, if not embarrassment. </p><p>He felt something grasp his hand and looked to the side to see Junta smiling at him. With this much evidence from the actors, Takato's words were more than likely to be taken seriously.</p><p>And if that happens... He might just be able to live like he used to with Junta, except that they'll be able to walk openly on the streets together now.</p><p>He interlocked their fingers, the faintest of red laced in his cheeks.</p><hr/><p>The day ended with Junta driving both of them home. Takato had dozed off a little at first, but is then surprised to find out how the other man had pulled up at the carpark of their original home. </p><p>It was the place both of them had decided to buy together, but barely lived in after bringing in furniture and decorations -- since shortly after Takato had met with the accident.</p><p>"You kept this place? After all these years..." He looked around as they stepped into the apartment. It still looked like the day they had left it, having no trace of dust or cobwebs anywhere, like somebody had been cleaning the apartment on an occassional basis.</p><p>Junta followed wordlessly behind him as he made his way into the bedroom. Takato then smiles as he threw himself on the bed, satisfied but also very worn out from the long meeting with the reporters. "How was my acting? Best actor?"</p><p>"Stop calling me that." Junta came forward, pulling Takato into a hug. A little surprised, the actor places his hands around Junta. This was strange behaviour for the angel, since he was always so chirpy and upbeat.</p><p>
  <em>... Was he upset that he didn't tell him about his plan? Maybe he should talk about it?</em>
</p><p>"It's not fair." Junta spoke up before Takato did.</p><p>"W... What?" His mind raced to think about what he had done.</p><p>"It's not fair how you're always doing that. You do the most unexpected all the time, making me feel all weird inside." Junta squeezes him slightly, burying his face in his shoulder.</p><p>"You don't know how worried I was for you when you wanted to start the reporter's meeting... And yet you make it look so natural, giving a perfectly understandable reason on why you would fake your death. I just can't believe how you're so perfect. </p><p>You have no idea how much I love you, and that's just so unfair."</p><p>Takato smiled as he raised a hand to cup Junta's face.</p><p>"What about you? <em>You're</em> unfair." He whispered back.</p><p>"Swaying my feelings so easily like that... Stepping into my life so forcibly and turning it around, making me get used to all these delicious food and your stupid sparkly presence.</p><p>Don't you think it's <em>every bit</em> unfair too?"</p><p>Junta seemed surprised at that statement, since showing affection was rare when it came from Takato, especially when it comes to such an outward confession. With a small chuckle, he leans in for a kiss which Takato eagerly reciprocates, both of them in a good mood.</p><p>Just as Junta had reached to pull at his shirt, though, his phone rang. The other man barely even hesitated as he snatched it up in frustration, wanting to hang it up. But Takato had sat up, taking it from his hands when he saw that Narumiya was calling. </p><p>"It might be important."</p><p>Junta stares at him, at the phone, then pouts as Takato picks up the call, his wings dipping down slightly.</p><p>"Junta-san and Saijou-san!" Narumiya's crisp voice came on line, and Takato put it on speaker mode, thinking that he wanted to talk to both of them. "Congratulations! Should we come in now?"</p><p>"Come... In?" Junta oogled the phone, entirely confused. "Come in where?"</p><p><em>Shoot</em>! </p><p>"Ah, the plan is cancelled! Maybe later." Nervous, Takato quickly muttered. He can't believe he had forgotten entirely about his plan to do <em>that</em>...</p><p>"What plan?" Junta looked genuinely curious now, hands wrapped around the abdomen of Takato.</p><p>"Oh, you haven't told Junta-san yet?" Narumiya's voice was loud and cheery over the line, resembling a babblemouth. Takato's eyes widened a bit too late, and he had fumbled with turning off speaker mode only after Ryo spoke. "He wanted us to get in after he proposed to you--"</p><p>"Narumiya-kun!" Takato cuts in sternly, now flushed a dark red. He slapped his hands to his face, in utter horror in embarrassment. <em>So much for telling that kid to keep this to himself ... </em></p><p>"Wah! I blurted it out!! I'm sorry Saijou-san!!" Narumiya sounded upset, while behind him a couple of actors had begun laughing. </p><p>"Pro...pose?" Junta looked suddenly excited, looking at him expectantly. He grabs his hands, raising it up as he grinned. "Takato-san???"</p><p>Entirely red and defeated, Takato groans. "Since he said it already, I suppose there's no use hiding it..." He pulls at Junta's hand, bringing him outside.</p><p>The actors were all staring at them in anticipation while laughing at a dejected Narumiya, all of them holding flowers. Some even had small party poppers in their hands, releasing a string of confetti as they stepped out of the apartment.</p><p>"I thought... That this is long overdue. We missed so much time we could spend together after the accident, and if there's anything I'm sure I want to do... it's to spend my life with you, so I thought of doing this." He took the flowers over, shyly presenting it to the other man, "Junta, would you marry me?"</p><p>"Definitely." Junta reached over to take the flowers with a sweet flush on his cheeks. While looking extraordinarily happy, Takato noticed how his behaviour also seemed a bit off. He looked like he didn't know what to say, glancing to the side from time to time, as if staring at somebody else.</p><p>... That was odd.</p><p>"What are you looking at?" Takato turned his head, trying to see what he was staring at. Did he look too ridiculous doing this? Was he checking if anybody saw him being entirely dumb and cheesy?</p><p>"It's nothing. I just... I actually had my own plan as well..."</p><p>He then gestures at a crowd, which had only then made themselves known. It's another group of actors who are also carrying the same bouquet of flowers, looking quite confused at the situation unfolding in front of them. </p><p>Takato's mind blanked for a moment before he looked to Junta in disbelief, breath caught in his throat. "You wanted to ... As well...?" He felt like laughing from the ridiculousness of this coincidence. </p><p>The other actor beamed, nodding slightly. "I got flowers too, since I liked the rings we already have." Taking the huge bouquet in his hands, he then managed a bright smile as he got down on one knee.</p><p>"Will you also marry me?" Junta murmurs. </p><p>Takato took over the flowers, still in shock of how they had both planned to propose on the same day and time. He had never thought that he would feel so warm inside when he stared at someone. </p><p>"Of course."</p><p>Junta grins, standing up and pulling him into an embrace.</p><p>Abruptly to the dismay of Takato, the angel then picked him up, starting to spin him around in happy circles, which caused quite a commotion to stir among the actors as they cheered out congratulatory words. </p><p>... Takato knows that there will be other issues they would face in the future.</p><p>There would be unpleasant moments he'd face, from people questioning about things that had gone on regarding today's meeting. He'd probably be hated on because of his coming out. There's so many things that could happen out of his control -- but with his arms wrapped snugly around Junta, all of them seemed to be forgotten. </p><p><em>This feels right,</em> his heart tells him, overflowing with emotions he never once had.</p><p>And he supposed that it's all that matters.</p><p>Leaning in, Takato smiles as he pulls Junta into a kiss.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>P.S: Did you notice something special about all the chapter titles in this fic? 😝</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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